


OK. OK.

by kod11



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-12-26 01:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kod11/pseuds/kod11
Summary: Gert and Chase hook up at the dance, and it's weird and great.





	1. Anxious

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not one to write explicit things, but I think most depictions of first times are pretty inaccurate as a rule. I wrote one a little more believable. 
> 
> In this essay, I will write an awkward first time full of self-doubt and anxiety. Also, first times with anyone new when the people aren’t good at communication is always weird so to keep these two in character this would have to be awkward based character development. This depiction is way more consent aware than I would expect most young people’s lived experiences to be, but I’m a feminist killjoy so deal. Healthy, safe, awkward sex! 
> 
> I also like writing Chase and Gert missing the point with one another. Young people are apt to project their insecurities on those around them, and even without Chase’s perspective, I hope the reader can see his. Gert can’t because she can’t get out of her head. If people like it, I might write Chase’s point of view. 
> 
> Be kind, and forgive the typos; there is always at least one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert's POV

Gert is trying really hard not to show how nervous she is right now. She isn’t sure how she got here. Well, yes she is. She grabbed Chase’s hand and dragged him into an empty room at this dance for a dance. She hasn’t danced with Chase Stein in years. Now she’s undressing Chase Stein. He’s shirtless, and her dress is off, he’s running his hands over the back of her slip. 

Gert Yorkes isn’t nervous. She can be cool. She can pretend like she’s done this before. He’s done this before. He had to have because of the way he’s touching her and making her feel. Chase’s hands are firm and strong, but they don’t hurt. He’s being really gentle. She’s seen him hit Lucas and Brandon. But Chase isn’t going to hurt her. Except, it's supposed to hurt, right. The first time?

How did her hand even end up on his bicep? Gert moans into the kiss, and Chase smiles against her lip and runs his left-hand to her ass and squeezes. She gasps because Chase leaves her breathless, but Chase pulls away, his face, his hands are still on her ass and lower back. Chase’s brow is furrowed, and he asks, “You ok?”

Gert smiles, nods quickly, and lets out a high pitch affirmative noise, but she’s not quite capable of language right now. Chase would have to grab her ass. She’s a little self-conscious about some areas on her body, the softer areas to be specific. But she doesn’t want him to stop, and she doesn’t want to have these hang-ups. 

Chase grins and says, “Awesome.” He pulls her even closer if that were possible. 

Look, Gert’s a sex-positive feminist, but it is way easier to be a sex-positive feminist in the abstract not when the guy you’ve been lusting after since you knew what that was is kissing your neck. Sure she might have more complicated feelings about Chase, but that is for a less confusing moment. Right now, Gert is trying to embody sex-positivity while a super hot guy is feeling her up, and she’s trying not to think about how her lower stomach is soft. Nothing about Chase is soft, which she knows because she can feel his erection. His hair is soft, which she knows now because she has her left-hand tangled in it at the base of his neck. He seems to like when she strokes the back of his neck. 

Chase’s mouth moves back to her’s, and she’s kissing him pretty forcefully. Is she not doing enough? She doesn’t want to starfish, but she also hasn’t been with a dude before. She’d done stuff with people before. She isn’t a novice, but mostly she’s done stuff with other girls, and that is kind of easier. She knows guys shouldn’t have expectations, but they do. Hot, athletic, smart, popular boys have expectations. Chase would stop if Gert told him to, but does she want him to? If he stopped this, it would be easier. She’d chalk it up to people like them don’t belong together. But she’s had fantasies about Chase Stein since her sexual awakening with _Fear of Flying_ by Erica Jong, which she is ashamed to admit a book she grabbed from her parents’ library. Stacey was excited when she caught Gert reading it. But now isn’t the time. 

God, she’s really wet like maybe embarrassing so, what is normal right now? But she wants this. She wants him. She’s going for it. Gert reaches between them and uses both hands to unbuckle his belt. Chase sucks his breath in and breaks away from her mouth leaving his forehead against her’s. She opens his pants and starts to reach for him. 

Chase grips her wrist and lets out his breath. He’s panting and asks, “What are we...I mean, I know what we’re doing. I’m not that stupid. You want to with me?” Chase sounds kind of incredulous. He sounds nervous. Maybe he thinks she’s going to leave him with blue balls, which isn’t a thing. Or perhaps he’s afraid like all straight white men are about how women are going to accuse them of sexual assault, you know the feminist agenda to trap innocent rapists. She would be so disappointed in him. 

“Yes. Chase. Yes. I want to do this with you,” says Gert as she nods. Maybe Chase is as insecure as she is? Probably not. “Do you not want to?”

Chase’s eyes get really big and, “No, I mean yes, I want to with you,” comes rushing out of his mouth. He sounds as eager as she feels. This is ridiculous. 

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Now they are both smiling and giggling a bit. This situation is so painfully cliche. Stupid hormonal teenagers are fearful of the end of the world having sex in a room at a dance. This might be the plot of dozens of young adult fiction books and comic books. His hands are back on her back and ass, and she’s grabbing his shoulder and back pretty hard. She wonders if it is painful. One of his hands slides into her hair tugging it a bit. She moans again into his mouth.  


So they just said they were going to have sex, right? That just happened? Because Chase doesn’t seem to be interested in getting to the point. 

And then he does, his hand slides further down from her ass to the back of her thighs and between her legs. He runs a finger over her panties. Gert breaths in quickly. 

“Still, ok?” asks Chase. Gert nods. 

“If you want me to stop,” Chase begins. 

“I don’t.”

“Ok.” 

“Ok.”

Chase grins again; he’s really beautiful. Then, Gert, has a panic thought what if Chase keeps asking because he’s hoping she’ll stop it because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings or his fragile masculinity, “Chase, do you want to stop?”

Chase raises an eyebrow at her. Chase puts a little distance between them, and Gert thinks this is it, he does want to stop. He gestures at his erection and says, “Definitely not.”

“A physiological response isn't consenting,” says Gert. 

Chase laughs, really laughs. Great, now he’s laughing at her, it was bound to happen. Why’d she say that? Who needs popular girls to humiliate her when she can mortify herself better than anyone. Chase puts his hand on her neck angling her face toward his and says, “I consent. I can’t think of anything I want more. Do you, consent, I mean?”

“Yes, enthusiastic consent,” says Gert.

“Oh, had to one-up me, huh?”

Gert giggles again. Chase looks away from her and vaguely behind her, and he takes a step into her, pushing her backward. He repeats this until she feels a table behind her. Then he puts his hands on her hips and lifts her to the table. That was hot. He hasn’t stopped kissing her the whole time.

Chase runs a hand up her side, stops at her ribs, he left the fabric of her slip, slips up with his hand, but she’s kind of sitting on the slip. God, she wants to feel his hands on her breast. In an act of boldness, which would seem shocking except she more or less has propositioned Chase, she takes his right hand and puts it on her left breast. He stops kissing her looks at his hand then he runs his eyes up to her face, then back down to his hand which he gives an experimental squeeze. 

For the first time ever she is regretting the choice of a sexy bra. She can’t really feel much. Chase’s touch is firm but really gentle, and this bra is lined. This time she pulls back and slips her slip off her shoulders, so it drops to her waist. 

“Can I?” asks Chase gesturing to her bra. She nods. Chase reaches around to her back and unfastens her bra. It falls away, and his right-hand goes back to her breast. She arches her back and pushes her chest further into his hand. He’s gently kneading her breast, and it feels really good. Chase brings his left-hand up to massage her right breast. He’s particularly interested in her nipples responding to his touch, which makes sense. Boys. 

He pinches her left nipple a bit, and she hisses. Chase’s eyes dart up to her face and asks, “Not good? Too rough?”

She shakes her head no and says, "Good. All good."

Chase swallows hard but removes his hand. He steps really close between her legs and crashes his mouth back to hers and slides one hand back to her hair. He’s been kind of pulling her hair on and off since this started, and she’s kind of into it. Now, their bodies are pressed too close together. This close, she feels his pants rubbing the inside of her thighs, and she feels his erection again right where she wants to feel him when he puts his hands around her waist and pulls her closer to the edge of the table. He grinds into her a bit getting a loud moan from her. She can feel him grinning against her lips. 

But Chase hasn’t moved to touch her panties again. Maybe she needs to. She reaches under the skirt of her slip and starts to pull her black lace panties down. Chase gets the hint and lifts her legs, so she has an easier time pulling them down, and they fall to the floor. Chase runs his hands from under her thighs to her inner thighs and pushes his hands pretty fair up her thighs, but he doesn’t touch her vagina even though she’s bare. She shakes her head thinking about how clinical she sounds in her head. 

Chase pulls back, but doesn’t move his hands, “You ok? Did I do something wrong?” He must have interpreted the head shaking as hesitation. 

“No, nothing’s wrong,” this time it is Gert who is rushing through words. 

“Good,” nods Chase. Chase reaches for his back pocket then sighs deeply and closes his eyes like he’s disappointed. 

“What?” asks Gert.

“My wallet is in my coat. I’m going to have to go get it,” says Chase and Gert must have a confused or disappointed look on her face because he says, “Condom. I have a condom. Unless you don’t want to use a condom, which I doubt. Or you don’t want to have sex. We don’t have to. I just thought you wanted to with all of this…” Chase gestures to their undressed state. 

Chase is rambling. It is adorable. Gert smiles, “I want to. Wait--”

“Yeah?” Chase sounds super concerned and removes his hands from her thighs. He’s still standing really close. Close enough she isn’t struggling with covering herself up. But he stopped touching her when she said to wait. Chase Stein, good guy. 

“Do you carry a condom in your wallet?” asks Gert. Chase nods, and Gert continues, “Oh, that’s bad for them. Body heat can damage condoms and make them more prone to breaking.” 

“I didn’t know that,” says Chase with a shy smile. “Learned something.”

“Right,” Gert closes her eyes and mentally curses herself, “Just want you wanted to hear.”

“Yeah, I should probably care more, but I don’t really care right now,” says Chase, “But I care if you do.”

“I have some in my bag,” says Gert, “I can get them.” She pushes him back a bit, but he stops her. Physically. Not aggressively, but Chase is a lot bigger than her, which she’s been aware of since they were 12 and Chase started lifting weights every day for lacrosse, but being this close and vulnerable to him, it feels more significant. 

“No.”

“No?” Gert’s tone must have alerted Chase to danger.

“No, you don’t have to get up. I’ll get them,” rushes Chase. Chase moves really fast to grab her bag. He rushes back to her and kisses her again leaving her purse on the table next to her. Chase is really into kissing her. And it is distracting. Chase runs his hands back up her inner thighs and spreads her legs further apart. 

Gert reaches for her bag with her left-hand and Chase’s pants with her right, but Chase stops her grabbing both her hands and lacing their fingers. He breathes, “Not yet,” against her ear.

“Chase, I don’t want to rush you--” begins Gert. Time is an issue right now. They are supposed to be helping save the world. And she thinks their friends won’t be so forgiving. She’d totally accept getting fucked by Chase Stein as an excuse for being late or never showing up. Can they live here now?

“Right,” Chase nods, but then moves away from her again and disentangles their hands. He takes a breath like he’s working himself up a bit to either say or do something, “I’ve never…” Right, Gert scoffs in her head, he's never; Chase clears his throat and says, “I’ve never eaten a chick out, but that makes it better for you, right?”

Chase sounds nervous. Gert feels nervous. He’s asking her like he assumes she has engaged in that particular sex act before. Gert says, “You don’t have to.”

“I want to make sure this is good for you,” says Chase. 

Gert reaches between her legs to touch herself. Chase is staring at her hand. She gives him a shy smile and says, “I’m pretty wet already. If you want to try it first.”

Gert doesn’t know what she’d do if Chase insists on going down on her. Sure she’s had fantasies like that but in reality. It seems like a lot what if he hates it. What if she tastes weird or smells weird, and yes, she knows there is nothing wrong with her body, but knowing that when you’re in your bedroom and knowing that while a super hot guy is staring at your sex is different, ok?

Chase nods and says, “I’m going to touch your pus--” but Chase stops and says, “vagina. That ok?”

Gert laughs. Chase blushes, which is the first time he’s blushed all night since she grabbed his hand and led him in here. She feels like her face has been on fire all night. Chase says, “Yeah, I don’t want to offend you, sorry, not really sexy. I guess.”

“Consent is sexy,” says Gert. 

“You know I think I read that somewhere,” says Chase. Gert wonders if he remembers her wearing that “Consent is Sexy” t-shirt. Atlas faculty freaked out and made her turn it inside out, which might have been worse because you could still read it and then everyone wanted to know about why she couldn’t wear it. 

Then Chase is touching her, really touching her. Like slipping a finger into her. Chase Stein has a finger inside her. He kisses her again and pushes his thumb against her clit. She gasps against his mouth and grabs his shoulders. He pulls back again enough to look at her face making sure it was a good gasp and not a bad one. He slides his finger in and out of her. It feels different than when she does it. His hands are bigger than her hands, obviously, but they feel massive gripping her thighs and inside of her. She is thinking about the size of his hands when he slides a second finger into her. His fingers are sliding in and out of her slowly, but he’s picking up the pace. She can hear the sound of his fingers sliding in and out. It is erotic. 

“Chase,” she moans. 

“Yeah,” says Chase. 

“I--I,” she’s kind of close to cumming, already. Record time. 

“Yeah, babe, what do you want?”

“I want you inside of me,” states Gert. That was direct. More direct than she expected to be. 

Chase raises both eyebrows in surprise and nods,” Yeah, I can do that.” He curls his fingers in her causing her to shiver. And she lets go of his shoulders to reach for her bag. She roots around for a condom. She’s getting frustrated, but Chase hasn’t stopped rubbing her clit and pushing his fingers into her. 

“Fuck, Chase,” gasps Gert, “Finally!” 

Chase pulls back again, “Yeah?” He looks pretty proud of himself. Oh, does he think she...She holds out the condom to him. Chase nods, “Right. I forgot. Not really forgot, I wasn’t going to fuck you without one, but focusing on the task at hand.” His head jerks up, and he says, “I wouldn’t be opposed to fucking you without a condom. I’m not worried or anything, and you’re probably on birth control unless you’re not because of hormones. It also isn’t like I’m thinking of this as fucking you. We’re doing this. Together.”

Gert laughs again, “You’re kind of a nerd.” It is adorable how worried he seems that she’s going to shut this down because he says the wrong thing. 

“I’m going to stop talking,” says Chase. 

Gert laughs again, “Don’t on my account. Flustered Chase Stein, whoever gets to see this?” Based on the look he gives her, she must sound like she knows what she is doing. 

Chase smirks and takes the condom from her. Gert can hear his pants and presumably, his underwear hit the floor. Chase pauses holding the condom in front of her says, “Did you want to, or can I just do it?” as he gestures to his penis. 

“You can,” says Gert. She doesn’t want to embarrass herself. Despite having condoms, Gert doesn’t have a lot of experience using them. Chase fumbles a bit. He closes his eyes, takes a step back, and steadies his breath and looks at Gert, “One sec.” But he doesn’t put the condom on. Instead, he puts his hand in her hair again pulling her forward to kiss her. She reaches for his penis, but he stops her, “It’s just..I’m a bit worked up. Give me a minute. Ok?”

Gert nods, and then Chase says, “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“Do you not want to?” asks Gert nervously. 

“Fuck yes, I want to do this, you. Fuck, I’m messing this up again,” says Chase. Gert laughs again. Chase continues to ramble, “I didn’t mean to call you a this. I’m not objectifying you. But you’re hot, and I don’t want this to be over before we even get started.” Chase kisses her neck as she is laughing. Her hot? Sure, she thinks, she’s really hot when she’s wet and letting him fuck her. Maybe she should try harder not to laugh at him. Guys get weird about that. 

“I like your laugh,” says Chase. He runs his hands over her ribs and tickles her side. She squirms away from him a bit still laughing. Then she stops laughing because his condom covered penis is probing at her. He must have put it on when he was distracting her. She freezes. Even with how wet she is the condom feels like rubber. It also is a little too high and uncomfortable pushing into her like this. 

“You ok?” asks Chase.

Gert nods, “Of course.”

“I’m going to...hold on,” says Chase as he pulls away. Chase spits in his hand and runs it over his penis and then put it back at her vagina. He’s so done this before, which makes her simultaneously jealous and relieved. They are practicing safe sex, and no matter, what his previous partners aren’t any of her business, but it is also nice to know he knows what he’s doing because she’d just winging it. Chase says, “If you want me to stop just say so, ok?”

Gert nods again. He starts to slide into her, but it isn’t working. She’s too tense. 

“We don’t have to,” says Chase. He’s already giving up?

“Wait, here,” she takes his hand and pushed one finger into her and pushes his wrist down. Chase looks confused. Gert says, “Pushing down in a vagina makes it automatically relax.” 

Chase nods, and says, “Cool.” He swallows really hard. He moves his hand back to his penis placing it at her entrance and putting the tip inside her, his other hand on her hip. It feels weird. Again she grabs his shoulders. Chase isn’t kissing her. He has his eyes tightly closed. His body is tense. He isn’t far into her when she does an experimental squeeze with her muscles. He moans, and his body shakes a bit. He pushes his penis further with less hesitation. She tenses. He stops. He opens his eyes to look at her face and asks, “You?”

She isn’t quite sure what he’s asking but Gert nods.

“It looks like you might want to stop,” Chase gasps out, “And we can.”

“I don’t--want to stop,” says Gert. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” says Chase as he rests his face against her neck. Gert takes a deep breath and runs her hands down to his hips. It is supposed to be a calming motion. 

“You won’t,” says Gert as she shifts her pelvis a bit and pulls him into her. Except it does. Hurt that is. She’s super tense and trying not to show that it hurts. 

“Fuck,” says Chase as he rocks into her a little more. He’s shaking. Probably from not moving too much. 

“Chase?” her voice is strained.

“Gert,” remembering the way Chase says her name is going to make her cum over and over again in fantasies. Chase continues, “Fuck you feel so good. This ok for you?”

“Yeah,” says Gert, voice still strained. So it isn’t the best feeling, but it will get better. This is typical. He’s trying. She wants this. Commit, Gert, she thinks to herself. 

“Thank God. I’m going to move a bit ok?” asks Chase. Gert can’t help but think typical. She doesn’t want him to stop but tell a guy this is fine and all his hesitation and watchfulness from five minutes ago is gone. Ok, so that is a sexist thought. 

Gert nods. He wraps his right arm around her waist and uses his left to grip the table. He is everywhere. The table is rocking against the wall, and Gert vaguely wonders if someone can hear because what else happens at this pace making that sound. Earlier, he was focusing his breathing, but he isn’t focusing his breathing so much anymore. She hitches her legs up on his hips which lets him slide in deeper. Chase swears again into her neck. She’s gripping his back to hold on. Chase’s grip is firm but not painful just she isn’t going anywhere, and neither is the table. She briefly wonders if he could hold her up during sex. The more he thrusts in and out of her the better it feels. She’s getting used to the feeling, and it doesn’t feel so foreign. It feels natural because sex between consenting parties is natural. Provided it is age appropriate, but this isn’t the time for those thoughts. This is the time to focus on him. She moves her head and kisses his neck while dragging her nails down his back. He thrusts harder. A tightness starts to build in her.

Chase shifts her by using his hand to lift her thigh. She makes a noise she’s never heard herself make. Chase says, “Sorry,” but in a tone that sounds like he might not mean it; also he hasn’t slowed his pace. If anything it seems like he’s trying to make her make the noise again. He’s panting really hard and getting sweaty. It is a good look on him. Gert wonders if she should touch herself to get this going more for her. 

Gert also wonders if Chase is going to be offended if she doesn’t cum for him. He seems really concerned with making this good for her, but she’s not sure she can like this. Some women don’t come from penetrative vaginal sex with a penis. But she doesn’t want to disappoint him, which is a terrible thought, right? Sure, he’s here with her, but her sexual experiences are about her, but they are also about her partner. 

Can she tell him what she likes? Does she even know? Well, one thing she likes is how he feels. All of him. His weight against her. His hands. His breath on her neck. She wonders how ridiculous she must look clinging to him like this. Chase doesn’t seem too put out by anything she is doing right now. She’ll go back to be an annoying social justice warrior after this. God, what it would feel like to have Chase on top of her; his weight pressing down on her. Yes, she’d like that. She might have a thing she’s into sexually. Mental high-five. Sure, it is super vanilla, but it is a thing she can own about her sexuality. 

“I’m close,” says Chase in a strained voice like he’s trying to hold back, which draws her attention back to him. She should be paying better attention to him. 

“Ok,” gasps Gert. Maybe she should tell him to just cum? She reaches between them, and Chase leans back from her a bit, but he is still thrusting in and out of her, but for this he has to pull out further than he has been. She starts to rub her clit, and Chase doesn’t make a move to do anything. He’s just staring at where they are joined and what her hand is doing. He stops thrusting while he’s pretty deep inside of her for a few seconds. His right hand tightens on her hip, and his left forearm flexes. She wonders if he isn’t into this. Gert looks up at him and breathes, “Chase?”

Then he blinks at her, and he’s fucking into her again, hard. Hard enough to slam the table into the wall. She braces her right hand on the wall behind her. She was concerned earlier about what it sounded like, well now there was no mistaking it. His left-hand slips off the table and he grabs her hip shifting her a little. The new angle makes him gasp and make a new noise she’s never heard, but will probably phantom hear for the rest of her life. 

Chase pants pleading, “Tell me you’re close.”

Gert wonders if he means dirty talk or like an actual ETA on her orgasm: probably tomorrow morning when she’s in bed thinking about this and replaying it over and over in her head. So she says, “I’m close.” 

Chase smiles into her neck, and his thrusts become more erratic. She slides one hand into his hair so she can pull back his face from her throat. She wants to see what he looks like when he cums. This is probably something she is going to use to torture herself later. His eyes are closed, mouth open, nostrils a little flared, and his brow is creased. He really is unnaturally pretty. And he cums, he moves his face a little as if he is going to bury it in her neck again, but she won’t let him because of her hand in his hair. Chase’s breathing slows; he pulls out of her, and he jerks his head away from her hand so he can kiss her temple. 

“You good?” asks Chase still pretty out of breath. He takes the condom off and looks around for a trashcan, but doesn’t see one so he ties it off and drops it next to his pants. If he doesn’t dispose of that properly, Gert is going to have something to say. Cleaning staff doesn’t have to clean up sex. They just had sex on a table. Shit, someone is going to have to clean this up. 

“Yeah,” nods Gert. 

“Did we cum at the same time?” asks Chase a little confused, “Because I thought that didn’t really happen in real life.”

Gert wonders if she should lie to him; just let him believe she came too, but before she can say anything Chase’s eyes drawdown. He’s still too close for Gert to think properly. Chase asks, “You didn’t finish did you?”

She surges forward and kisses him. When she pulls back she shakes her head no, “But it’s ok. Sex can be fun without cumming.”

Chase raises his right eyebrow like he doesn’t believe her, “Look, I believe just about anything you say to me, but I might have to fight you on this.”

That is an interesting thing to say. Chase believes anything she says to him? Gert asks, “So what you weren’t having fun until you were inside me?” She can’t believe she is being so forward in this conversation.

“What? No. I like all of this,” Chase is gesturing to both of them and the space between them, “But it got pretty amazing--the inside you part--” Chase is blushing like mad, and it is cute. Chase takes a breath, “So, can I...do something to get you there? Or did you not because you didn’t like it? Or because I hurt you?”

“Chase, you didn’t hurt me--” begins Gert, but Chase cuts her off saying, “There’s literal blood on my dick and on your thighs.” Chase’s hands are on her thighs. She involuntarily starts to close them, but Chase keeps his hands there. 

Gert feels her face light up. Chase leans into her again, kissing her deeply. His right-hand travels up her thighs, and she jumps a little when he touches her lips.

“You ok?” asks Chase, “I’m not assuming consent. If you want me to stop say so. But I’ll probably be good to go again in a little bit, but I want to make sure you get there first.”

Gert laughs a little and says, “We might not have time for that.” If only, does he really want to do this again? Should she pee? Stacey always talked about UTIs. Shouldn’t she be sore? Or will she be sore when the endorphins wear off. 

Chase nods and says, “Tell me what to do.”

“What?” asks Gert her face is on fire. 

“Tell me what you like. What I need to do to get you off,” says Chase. His facial expression reminds her of when they were friends. Chase would make his mind up about something like reverse engineering an old engine his father built, and there was no distracting him. 

“Chase, it isn’t that important…” Gert moves to get up.

“Do you not want to? Because if you don’t want to we can stop, but if it is something else like I’m not doing something you like I can fix that, I can get you there. It won’t take long,” says Chase. He says it with the same confidence he says everything, but also like her body is some kind of puzzle he needs to solve. It is kind of hot, but also Chase Stein is talking about making her cum like it is a fucking science project. He’s still naked, and she mostly is. He puts his mouth just below her ear and sighs, “Come on, I want to see you cum.”

Gert swallows hard and nods because his voice is low, and she wants to hear him talk in that tone again. She leans back a little, bracing herself on her hands behind her, and he slides his finger back into her and says, “Not that what I want carries more weight or anything…”

“Right,” exhales Gert. She is trying to pay attention to what he’s saying, but she’s having a lot of difficulty with his fingers working inside of her. 

“Gert, tell me what you like?” asks Chase. He’s kind of telling her, and she doesn’t know how she should feel about that. 

“I like this. I like you. This is good,” she gasps as she pants. Chase is smiling, brightly; it is annoying. He looks amazing, and she’s sure she doesn’t. Why’d she say she likes him? That is pretty obvious, right? The way Karo thinks she stalks him. 

His left-hand slips to her lower back and press her forward while he starts kissing her neck. He adds another finger and then a third almost immediately. Her breath catches, and she can feel him smile against her neck. Dick. 

He was right though, it isn’t taking long. But to be honest, watching Chase’s forearm flex while he’s fingering her is one of the most erotic things she’s ever seen. Chase firmly pushes his thumb against her clit. She feels herself constrict around him. 

Chase chuckles, “Ok, definitely didn’t cum when we were having sex, then. I would have remembered that.”

Chase Stein should come with a warning of some kind because she can’t possibly be held accountable for her actions or anything she says. 

“You’re stimulating my clitoris, which is causing my vaginal muscles to contract,” Gert breaths. 

“Hot,” says Chase; he’s still smiling against her neck. 

“Fuck you, Chase.”

“Yes?” he says laughing against her neck. He’s enjoying this way too much. Chase continues, “I like the anatomy lesson. This has been a really informative night for me. Fun and educational.”

“I’m SURE,” Gert screams. Chase looks kind of worried but also kind of pleased. He’s rubbing his fingers inside of her against the top of her vagina, more or less squeezing her clit between his fingers inside her and his thumb on the outside. But he’s stopped applying any pressure when she screamed, and he asks, “Did that hurt?”

“No. It was different and surprising,” she gasps, “I like it a bit rougher, at least I usually am a bit rougher, but the callus on your thumb is pretty great.” Why’d she say that?

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah?” repeats Gert. Chase mumbles something to himself that sounds kind of like pretty great. 

“What do you usually do when you’re touching yourself?” asks Chase. Of course, she just told him she masturbates. She told Chase Stein she masturbates. The world can end. That’s it. There is no coming back from this conversation. She’s team let the world be destroyed. 

“It isn’t rocket science, Chase. This is more or less it,” she snarks. 

Chase pulls his face from her neck and grins, but then the smile dims, and he says, “Don’t be like that.”

She’s about to say like what, when he continues, “Mean, Gert, don’t be mean to me when I’m knuckle deep inside you.” He twists his fingers in deeper as he says it, which makes her moan, loudly.

“What do you like, then?” she challenges back. 

Chase is looking at her face and says, “Anything? I’m 17.”

Gert laughs. Chase's eyebrows raise, and he says, “One day I want to be inside you when you’re laughing.” Sure, Chase, she thinks briefly. Next time, the world is about to end, and I’m the only girl not into girls in our group, you’ll want to fuck me again. 

“I prefer when I have more time, but most of the time, I jerk off in the shower in the morning. It takes like 5 minutes,” says Chase like this isn’t the weirdest conversation they’ve had in a long time. 

Chase shifts his wrist, and Gert is really close. She whines a little and says, “Morning. In the morning.” She bites down hard on her bottom lip, which is where Chase’s eyes are. She’s kind of surprised he has been making a lot of eye contact. She thought he’d be staring at her breasts or vagina, but he isn’t looking at any of the places she’s self-conscious about so she can’t complain. 

“Morning, mornings are good,” says Chase, and he grins, “Do we jerk off at the same time?”

Gert can’t respond to that. She is shaking now; her legs, her arms, and her right arm gives out, but Chase runs his hand from her lower back up to support her. She’s gripping his bicep hard, digging her nails into his arm. But she doesn’t have long nails anyway, or she’d be more concerned. Actually, this is probably more painful to her fingertips than his bicep. She closes her eyes tight as she feels her orgasm building. 

“Chase,” Gert breaths out his name as she cums. Chase stays where he is while she rides it out, but he isn’t pushing his fingers into her anymore. Chase withdraws his fingers but rests his hand on her thigh. She can feel her wetness on his fingers on her thigh. That’s a lot to think about. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” says Chase. In context, she thinks. It is probably hard for a dude who isn’t an asshole to think the girl he’s fucking isn’t beautiful when she is cumming. But she knows her sweaty, breathing heaving, hair mess up self, anywhere else isn’t beautiful. Self-consciousness sets in. She can’t look at him, so she looks away.

“Hey, you ok?” Chase asks; he sounds concerned, but she isn’t looking at him. What did she just do? She nods to answer his question. She also mistakenly looks down. Blood on her thighs and on his once again erect penis. She takes a moment to look at it, him. Really look. It felt big against her, but now that she sees it without the sex-addled brain she thinks that is going to hurt. She feels sore right now even just sitting because all the sexy chemicals are wearing off and the muscles she isn’t used to using are sore. 

Chase puts his hands in her hair directing her vision to him and asks, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she blurts out, probably too quickly. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“I--I don’t think,” Gert bites her lip and Chase closes the distance and kisses her again. It starts off the same innocence way that had them mostly naked at a school dance. His one hand drops from her hair to her back pulling her closer, and she feels his erection between her legs. He moves his mouth to her neck. She’s going to be surprised if she doesn’t have marks on her neck, but he isn’t sucking hard. 

This shift in his position puts his penis way closer to her vagina, and she blurts out, “Chase, I’m sore.”

He freezes, and his penis starts to get softer. Then he says, “Right, that was dumb of me. I wasn’t necessarily trying to fuck you again. I mean I wasn’t not trying to fuck you either.” He looks down snorts a bit, and says, “If we ignore it, it will go away. I’ll, I’ll grab your dress.”

Chase bends down but didn’t move far enough away for her to close her legs, which puts him more or less eye level with her vagina. Awesome. Chase pulls up his pants and boxer briefs. He is looking at her now, and she can’t tell what he is thinking. But it isn’t eye contact now. She can almost feel his gaze moving across her body. She moves to close her legs and reaches across herself to get her bra so she’s covering her breasts when she does it. He’s regretting this, she thinks. 

“I can blow you or jerk you off or something. Or if you can be quick,” she blurts out. 

Chase makes a confused face and says, “I’m good. You’ve done enough already, and you said you’re sore.”

While Chase is looking at her, she puts back on her bra and slides up the slip, and slides it down. Chase takes a couple of steps back and hands her panties. Because of course. She bites her lips again. She must be the most awkward person alive. She scoots forward on the table to get down, damn she’s short, and Chase reaches out a hand to help her down. He’s watching her, intensely. 

“I’m ok, Chase,” she says reassuringly. He nods, but keeps a hold of her hand and grabs her bag from the table. They walk back to the rest of their clothes. She pulls out her cell phone and sees missed calls. She isn’t ready to look at him. 

“Gert, I,” Chase starts. 

Must stop this. Gert holds up her phone, “Missed texts and calls. The gang's looking for us.”

“Must be desperate if they are calling,” says Chase. He looks at his phone and says, “Karo called like three times.”

Karo called three times. Right. Karo’s a fucking lesbian shouts Gert in her head, but says, “We shouldn’t keep her, them waiting.”

Chase nods staring at her legs as she slides her panties back on, and Chase blinks and shakes himself out of it, and he grabs her dress off the floor and shakes it out before handing it back with his charming smile. She should say something. 

“Ready?” asks Gert without waiting for a response, she's already heading for the door. She’s still trying to tie her dress as Chase is working on his shirt. 

Chase hesitates, “Gert, I…”

“They’re waiting. End of the world to stop, right?” says Gert. Chase nods and opens the door for her, following her out. Like he’s been doing all night. 

Gert can’t help but think this was a thing that happened outside of time and space. They’ll have to talk about this, and their relationship if that is what this is. And apparently, Nico and Karo are having a moment outside of time and space, too. They all stand there for a beat, looking at each other before they head out. Nico has her judgy eyes, and Karo has her concerned face. She isn’t looking at Chase’s face; she doesn’t want to see the realization and disappointment about Karo’s sexuality. Good for Karo, though.


	2. Hesitate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chase's POV.

Chase has precisely one moment of hesitation when Gert starts pulling his suit coat off. One moment between his coat hitting the floor with a bit of a thud and her rushing through the buttons on his shirt where he thinks this seems fast. But she’s slipped off her dress, which is good because he didn’t feel a zipper and had no idea how this thing worked. Apparently, the tie in front is functional. Chicks’ clothes are weird. Sometimes the ties and buttons are for show sometimes they’re functional, how are you supposed to know? It doesn't matter. It is better that’s she’s doing it anyway. Removing her own clothes. If she’s removing her own clothes, then this is her deciding to do it. He’s had dreams where he does take off her clothes though; where he kisses the newly exposed skin as he reveals it. So, Chase is strapping in for whatever she wants to do, and right now she wants to take off their clothes. 

They are kissing really aggressively. He isn’t sure he’s ever kissed anyone like this. Gert's hand is on his bicep, seems like she’s into his arms and chest. At least she keeps touching him. He’s touching her too, his hands on her back, lower back. He keeps slipping them lower and lower to see if she’s going to stop him. Seems like the best approach, slightly pushing forward and seeing if she’s going to say something. Maybe that’s shitty. He’s trying to gauge whether she’s into it, and she seems to like it the way she’s smiling and undressing him. He needs to figure out how to get her to smile more because she lights up maybe brighter than Karo, or they could just keep doing this, this makes her smile. 

Chase’s hands span her back. She feels delicate under his hands, and she’d hate he thinks that. Chase knows better than anyone how Gert is except that he can’t ever tell what she’s thinking anymore. If he told her that her hand is delicate or feeling her ribs under his hands, she’d think he was calling her weak, but he isn’t. He knows she isn’t, but it wouldn’t take much to--he won’t. He’s being really careful. 

Gert squeezes his bicep, which her hand doesn’t fit around, and he slides his hand to her ass and squeezes. She has a great ass, and legs, and smile, and everything. When he squeezes she gasps. He pulls back searching Gert’s face for hesitation/disinterest/anger and asks, “You ok?”

Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes thinks Chase. Gert nods and makes a high pitch noise. That was a nice noise. He’s going to have to pay attention to the noises she makes and her face to make sure she’s into it because she’s isn’t talking much, which is strange. Gert always has something to say, but he can’t say that because she might decide to stop. 

Chase can’t keep the smile off his face and says, “Awesome.” He pulls her closer. He needs to be closer, but he’s getting hard and should probably put some distance between them or risk freaking Gert out. She hasn’t said what this is; he’s making some assumptions about her removing clothes, but she might not be into sex. She’s so soft. Her slip is silky, her skin, and her hair are all so smooth and soft. He could touch her for--that’s an intense thought. They’re having a good time. Gert’s running her fingers over the back of his neck like she’s trying to commit his neck, chest, and arms to memory. He wonders if she’d let him run his hands all over her committing her to memory. Doesn’t matter he’s never going to forget this. If she stops him now, he has spank bank material for a long time. 

The way Gert moves and the way she’s kissing him makes Chase think he’s the inexperienced one here. He wonders if she can tell. He hopes not. Chase can only remember Gert having one boyfriend, and they were like 13 at the time. That kid was the worst, but he can’t remember why just that he was fucking annoying. But she’s had girlfriends. There was that girl in Physics who used to put her hands on Gert’s thigh under their lab table. Chase’s experience is more limited to drunken parties. He dates and fools around, but nothing serious. Handjobs and head, but mostly he’s on the receiving end because he ripped and popular so he kind of just has to show up. Being with Gert is more work. He doesn't mind more work. 

Focus, Chase is trying to focus on Gert’s breathing and the sounds she’s making. She sounds into it, but he’s trying not to pressure her, but also he’s not stopping this. She’s going to have to. If she said she wanted to end this, it would be over, but he’s going to do this and anything else she lets him until she tells him otherwise. 

What are we even doing thinks, Chase. Then Gert reaches for his belt, undoes it, and unzips his pants. She reaches into his pants, and he nearly loses it. He grabs her wrists and presses his forehead to her forehead. Chase takes a steadying breath and asks, “What are we...I mean, I know what we’re doing. I’m not that stupid. You want to with me?”

God, please don’t let me sound as pathetic as that did in my head. He’s supposed to be cooler than this, but Gert has always had this effect on him. He always feels like he’s stumbling around and speaking incoherently when she’s near him. She just confounds him most of the time. He only understands half of what she’s saying. Also hours ago, he thought she hated him, and minutes ago they established she liked him well enough, and now she has her hand inside his pants. Who fucking knew?

“Yes. Chase. Yes. I want to do this with you,” says Gert as she nods, “Do you not want to?”

Chase feels his eyes get wide, and says, “No, I mean yes, I want to with you.” It comes rushing out of his mouth, so cool. He sounds eager and worries that will turn her off. 

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

She giggles. He does the guy version of giggling, which seems like a weird thought to have. Gert would have something he doesn't quite understand to say about that. More importantly, Gertrude Yorkes just said she wanted to have sex with him, right? 

She can’t mean that. She doesn’t even like him. They aren’t even really friends anymore unless she’s more into casual hookups than he realized. It is his fault that they aren’t friends anymore. Chase keeps his one hand on her ass and runs the other heavily up her back and neck into her hair. Fuck, her hair. Chase didn’t think anything of it when she showed up at school with it dyed purple. His friends thought it was lame, but he thought it was very Gert. It wasn’t until he was home that day with his parents both gone watching internet porn that the color really started to bother him. He couldn’t get the color out of his head, and he came really fast thinking about putting his hands in her hair and pulling it. He tugs on her hair gently, and she fucking moans. He wants to hear that sound for the rest of his life. 

It also encourages him to reach down from behind her and in between her legs. He uses his middle finger to stroke the crotch of her panties. Two immediate thoughts: they are lace, and she’s really wet. Fuck yes. That’s because of him; she’s wet because he’s been touching and kissing her. He grins, but she gasps. 

“Still, ok?” asks Chase. Gert nods. 

“If you want me to stop,” Chase begins. 

“I don’t.”

“Ok.” 

There was once a time when Chase could more or less read Gert’s mind. That stopped when he hit puberty. Now, he never knows what she’s thinking. She acted like she disliked him when Alex suggested they hang out, but then later the same day she offered to tutor him in Spanish. That was a mistake, but he can’t bring himself to regret standing her up because something terrible would have happened to Karo. 

Chase knows he’s grinning like an idiot, but Gert looks nervous, but she’s saying she doesn’t want to stop. He needs to pay close attention. Her face changes to worry, maybe? She asks, “Chase, do you want to stop?”

Chase pulls back from her a little, confused, looks down at his hard, painfully so, dick, back to her eyes, and says, “Definitely not.”

“A physiological response isn't consenting,” says Gert. 

Chase laughs, really laughs. He can’t help it, but he can tell by her face it is the wrong thing to do. Chase puts his hand on her neck angling her face toward his and says, “I consent. I can’t think of anything I want more. Do you, consent, I mean?”

He may never have wanted anyone like he wants her. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, Gert smiles softly and says, “Yes, enthusiastic consent.”

“Oh, had to one-up me, huh?”

She giggles again. Her laugh and smile are great. They really are doing this. Chase starts looking for something they can do this on. Ok, floor? He’s not going to fuck her on the floor in this place. She won’t be into that. Chair, leverage might be weird. Table by the wall, done. Should he carry her over or is that too intense? Chase kisses Gert again and walks her backward toward the table. They moved to the table pretty quick, and he worries he might seem overeager because he is. He puts his hands on her hips and boosts her up on the table. 

Chase runs his hand up from her hips to her ribs the slip catching on his hands, but he doesn’t pull it out from under her. Gert should take off her own clothes, this time. Will there be a next time? He needs to get through this time before he thinks about next time. Girls taking off their own clothes is one way to make sure they want to because if she didn’t want to, then she wouldn’t take off her clothes. Not that taking off her clothes is consent. She could be sitting here naked and say she didn’t want to, which is totally her right. He slides his thumbs across the underside of her tits. How long has he thought about her tits? He smiles to himself. He remembers the first time he realized she had tits, real ones. 

They were studying for an Astronomy test in the 8th grade. Alex was there sitting across from them at the Yorkes’ kitchen table. Gert dropped something in between their chairs, and then both went for whatever it was, and her button down shirt wasn’t done all the way up. Her bra was red, who lets a 12-year-old girl wear sexy red underwear? He remembers thinking her boobs are bigger than they used to be. Alex cleared his throat and handed Gert a pencil, but kept looking at Chase like he was going to say something. Fucking Alex. 

He could right? He’s done this with other chicks. He knows what they like and don’t. Just move his hand up a little higher, but Gert reads his mind. Dear God, not really, that would be bad. She takes his hand and put it on her tit. He looks at his hand, then her eyes then squeezes her tit, and watches her eyes flutter a little. But she pulls away. That’s fine. Worth it. 

But Gert slips her slip off her shoulders, and it drops to her waist. Chase gestures to Gert’s bra and asks, “Can I?”

She nods, and Chase manages to undo her bra with one hand. Thank you, one-handed dexterity. That felt cool. It falls away, and Gert pulls it off and drops it next to her on the table. He puts his right hand back on her tit, and she arches her back pushing her tit further into his hand. So he massages it and then brings his left hand up her right tit. Her tits are heavy, full, and fill his hands. He’s kissing her less now because he wants to see her respond to his touch. He rubs his thumbs across her nipples, and she shudders a little, and they pebble. He pinches her left nipple, and she hisses at him. Fuck he hurt her. Chase releases any pressure he had in his hands, eyes darting to her face, “Not good? Too rough?”

Gert breathes out, “Good. All good.”

Chase withdraws his hands anyway better to be safe, but steps closer to her between her legs, which are spread a little to accommodate him. He crushes her mouth back to his and pushes his hand into her hair pulling her closer resulting in them being chest to chest. He drops his hands to her waist and pulls her toward the edge of the table. Chase grinds his dick into her, and she fucking moans, which makes him grin into her mouth. 

Then without preamble, Gert shifts and reaches up the skirt of her slip, dragging her black, lace panties down. His hands immediately go to her legs, and he lifts them so she can just slide them down. It is an image that is going to be burned into his brain forever: Gert topless, on a table, pulling her panties off for him. Her panties drop to the floor, and Chase runs his hands from under her thighs to her inner thighs pushing his hands up pretty far taking the skirt of the slip with them. Gert is literally sitting there in a slip skirt and nothing else. He’s thinking about pushing his hands the rest of the way up, but he hesitates, and a good thing too because Gert shakes her head no. 

Chase pulls his head and torso back asking, “You ok? Did I do something wrong?” 

Gert rushes out, “No, nothing’s wrong.”

“Good,” replies Chase, and he reaches for his wallet. Fuck his wallet is in his suit coat on the floor across the room. 

His face must have given something away because Gert looks concerned and asks, “What?”

“My wallet is in my coat. I’m going to have to go get it,” says Chase, and Gert has a confused or disappointed look on her face, so he says, “Condom. I have a condom. Unless you don’t want to use a condom, which I doubt. Or you don’t want to have sex. We don’t have to. I just thought you wanted to with all of this…” Chase gestures to their undressed state. His condom is latex, but he has no idea about how or where it was made. What if he pulls it out and she tells him it was made in a sweatshop owned by Supreme or Bezos or something equally as bad? At least Pride doesn’t make condoms.

He’s rambling like a moron, but Gert smiles and says, “I want to. Wait.”

Chase pulls back completely and takes his hands off her thighs. He doesn’t want to make her feel like she has to or that if she says no he isn’t going to listen. He takes half a step back. Chase asks, “Yeah?”

Gert looks bashful, shit, he’s making her feel bad somehow, he’s not really sure how. She says, “Do you carry a condom in your wallet?” asks Gert. Chase nods, and Gert continues, “Oh, that’s bad for them. Body heat can damage condoms and make them more prone to breaking.”

“I didn’t know that,” says Chase with a shy smile and relief floods him, “Learned something.” She’s so fucking smart; that wasn’t covered in sex ed. 

“Right,” Gert says as she closes her eyes, “Just want you wanted to hear.”

Chase doesn’t care what she’s saying as long as she talking to him. He says, “Yeah, I should probably care more, but I don’t really care right now,” he pauses, maybe that was the wrong thing to say, he cares about her safety and what she cares about in this context, “But I care if you do.”

“I have some in my bag,” says Gert, “I can get them.” She pushes him back a bit, but he stops her. Gert doesn’t have to get the condoms; he’s the guy, he should. She’d have something to say if she knew he was thinking that. A significant look of hesitation crosses Gert’s face as Chase says, “No.”

“No?” Gert says, and she sounds like she’s about to get pissed if she isn’t already. What just happened? Danger flashes in his mind. 

“No, you don’t have to get up. I’ll get them,” rushes Chase. Chase moves really fast to grab her bag. He rushes back to her and kisses her again leaving her purse on the table next to her. Chase is really into kissing her; he could kiss her forever. Chase runs his hands back up her inner thighs and spreads her legs further apart.

Gert gropes for her bag and reaches for Chase's pants again. Chase laces his fingers with hers and says, “Not yet,” against her ear. He feels her shiver a little. 

“Chase, I don’t want to rush you--” says Gert. 

“Right,” Chase says; she wants to get going with this. He can do this. Just like anything else. What would coach say? Coach wouldn’t say anything, he'd be against teenagers having sex at a school dance. Chase starts to say, but his voice cracks, “I’ve never…”

Gert raises her eyebrows like she waiting for him to say something. He clears his throat and says, “I’ve never eaten a chick out, but that makes it better for you, right?”

A look of surprise crosses her face, and he worries he’s going to suffer in comparison to whoever she’s been with before. Gert says, “You don’t have to.” Fast enough to give Chase pause. Girls like it though, so if she doesn’t want him to there is probably a reason like she knows he’s going to be bad at it. He could learn; he can figure just about anything out given time. But she’s in a rush, and they don’t have time. 

Chase says, “I want to make sure this is good for you.”

Gert shifts her weight to her left side and puts her right hand between her legs. He can’t look away from her hand. She says, “I’m pretty wet already. If you want to try first.” 

She’s literally touching herself. Hot. There are a lot of things happening tonight he wants to remember for the rest of his life. A lot of guys on the team talk about how awful feminists are, but he’s never seen it. Gert’s awesome, she’s smart, funny, and hot, and she is literally touching herself right now. Take this to the logical conclusion, and feminists are probably great at sex. Chase says, “I’m going to touch your pus--” fuck, what’s not offensive, “vagina,” with the end of the word going up like a question, “That ok?” 

So fucking stupid. He should have just said you. Gert is laughing, hard. Chase feels it; he’s blushing like a kid. Chase just has to own it and says, “Yeah, I don’t want to offend you,” which would make you want to stop, “Sorry, not really sexy. I guess.”

“Consent is sexy,” says Gert. 

Yes, yes it is. Gert’s white t-shirt with “consent is sexy” is written in black on it was hot. He saw it in the morning before class, and by first period, Gert had it turned inside out, but also wasn’t wearing any of her bulky jackets. Just a white t-shirt turned inside out with the black block lettering still readable. By the end of the day, everyone was talking about it. Chase had heard the phrase before, but seeing it written across Gert’s tits was something else. 

Chase touches Gert, pushing his middle finger into her pussy. He kisses her again and rubs his thumb across her clit. She gasps against his mouth and grabs his shoulders. He pulls back from the kiss to see if the gasp was a good one or a bad one; he thinks it is good, but just to be sure. Based on the look on her face, and that she’s didn’t say she doesn’t like it, he continues to push his finger in and out of her. He adds his ring finger too. She’s really wet and tight around his fingers. He’s picking up the pace a bit, and her hips begin rocking a little. He can hear his fingers sliding in and out of her, which is a thing he didn’t know he wanted to hear.

“Chase,” she moans.

“Yeah,” Chase replies. Don’t say stop don’t say stop don’t say stop. 

“I--I,” she is gasping/moaning at him. This is awesome. 

“Yeah, babe, what do you want?”

“I want you inside of me,” Gert says, a clear directive. Yes. Ok, Chase should probably think through why he finds her telling him what to do it so hot. 

Chase is nodding before he can process words, but her eyes are closed, “Yeah, I can do that.” He curls his fingers inside her, which girls like when he’s done this before. She shivers.  


She also lets go of his shoulders and is digging around in her bag. Chase hasn’t changed his pace sliding in and out of her. 

“Fuck, Chase,” gasps Gert, “Finally!”

Really? Cool. Chase pulls back from her and asks with a smirk, “Yeah?” Gert reaches a condom to him, and Chase says, “Right. I forgot. Not really forgot, I wasn’t going to fuck you without one, but focusing on the task at hand.” His head jerks up, and he says, “I wouldn’t be opposed to fucking you without a condom. I’m not worried or anything, and you’re probably on birth control unless you’re not because of hormones. It also isn’t like I’m thinking of this as fucking you. We’re doing this. Together.”

That last part isn’t entirely true. He’s been thinking about fucking her since the first time he watched porn where the girl has purple hair. Before that, he’d think about her sometimes when he jerked off, but it also seemed really wrong, but then they weren’t friends anymore and it seemed less wrong. He should unpack those thoughts, too. 

He needs to stop talking because he keeps saying offensive things. He keeps objectifying her and using offensive language. Gert is laughing again and says, “You’re kind of a nerd.”

“I’m going to stop talking,” assures Chase. 

Gert continues to laugh, and he can’t stop himself from laughing too. Gert says, “Don’t on my account. Flustered Chase Stein, whoever gets to see this?”

How is it that she always has him at a disadvantage? He smirks at her and takes the condom from her hand. He also takes his hands entirely away from her while he drops his pants and boxer briefs. Chase holds the condom up and asks, “Did you want to, or can I just do it?”

“You can do it,” says Gert glancing at his junk. He’s not shy when she looks this time compared to the lab and the x-ray goggles. 

Chase nods and goes to put it on, but stops. Fuck he doesn’t want to blow early. He says, “One sec.” Think of something else. He’s trying not to think about his fingers still being wet. He leans forward and kisses her. She reaches for his dick and brushes his head. He stops her and says, “It’s just..I’m a bit worked up. Give me a minute. Ok?”

Gert nods, and Chase says, “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“Do you not want to?” asks Gert, and she sounds nervous. 

“Fuck yes, I want to do this, you. Fuck, I’m messing this up again,” says Chase. Gert laughs again. Chase continues to ramble, “I didn’t mean to call you a this. I’m not objectifying you. But you’re hot, and I don’t want this to be over before we even get started.” Chase kisses her neck as she is laughing. He could listen to her laugh all night.

“I like your laugh,” Chase says. He starts to tickle her. She squirms away still laughing. While she’s laughing, he puts the condom on. It is easier when she isn’t staring at his dick. He’s pushing toward her, but she freezes up. 

“You ok?” asks Chase.

Gert nods, “Of course.” She sounds like she always does like she’s got all the answers to the questions even though they haven’t been asked. 

He’s meeting a lot of resistance because of the condom despite her being so wet. “I’m going to...hold on,” Chase tells her pulling away. He spits on his hand and runs it over his dick, and they say you can’t learn anything from porn. Chase continues, “If you want me to stop just say so, ok?”

Gert nods again. He hopes she can’t tell he’s never done this before, and he wonders if she has. He starts to slide into her, but it still isn’t working. She’s tense. Chase sighs and says, “We don’t have to.”

He hopes he doesn’t sound disappointed. She doesn’t want to. He accepts that. Gert surprises him saying, “Wait, here.” She takes his hand and pushes his index finger into her and then pushes his wrist down saying, “Pushing down in a vagina makes it automatically relax.”

That sounds like something they should tell guys and lesbians in sex ed. Lesbian probably already know. Chase nods and says, “Cool.”

If this works, he’s going to tell every dude he knows. His mouth is dry. It works. He removes his hand and grips his dick placing it back at her pussy and the tip slides right in. He takes her hip with his other hand. He should kiss her, but he needs to focus right now. She feels so good. Chase doesn’t want to waste this. He keeps his eyes tightly shut; he can’t look at her just yet. Definitely can’t look at him sliding into her. Then he feels her pussy squeeze him and his hips jerk forward a bit. Every muscle he has is tense, and he moans while his body shakes a bit. She tenses even more. Chase forces his eyes open and asks, “You?”

Gert nods like she knows what he’s asking when he isn’t even sure. 

“It looks like you might want to stop,” Chase says trying to keep his voice steady, “And we can.” He can. He can stop. This isn’t a big deal. He’ll need to jerk off somewhere. 

Gert says, “I don’t want to stop.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Chase whispers with his face buried in Gert’s neck. Gert runs her hands down his sides to his hips; it feels good. 

“You won’t,” assures Gert with a level of confidence he’s not sure he could muster, and she shifts her position a little, and then pulls him into her without warning. He’s lucky he didn’t cum right there. 

“Fuck,” Chase groans rocking into her a little more. He’s trying not to move. He is clearly uncomfortable for her. She’s still tense unless it is a good kind of tense. She was tight around his fingers too. 

“Chase?” Gert asks with a strained voice. 

“Gert, fuck you feel so good. This ok for you?” he asks, and he’s praying it is. 

“Yeah,” she replies quickly.

“Thank God. I’m going to move a bit, ok?” asks Chase. He’s trying to keep in mind this is new for her, which he can tell now, at least he thinks he can tell. He thinks he’s her first, which is awesome, and he’s sure she’d say oddly possessive. But it is new for him too, and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to keep it together for much longer. 

Gert nods. Chase wraps his right arm around her waist and uses his left hand to grip the table for leverage. She’s surrounding him, her legs, her pussy, her breath against his neck. He’s rocking into her, and the table is bumping into the wall. It sounds cool. He’s getting used to being inside her a little. Gert raises her legs around his waist, and he slides in deeper. Chase swears into her neck. She’s clinging to him. Her small hands on his back. He likes it. He kind of hopes she leaves a mark, so next time he showers it stings and isn’t just the glass cuts from his fight with his dad on the Fistagons. Then she drags her nails down his back, and he thinks he’s going to cum. She’s getting tighter around him, too, which isn’t helping. But he’s got this. He picks up his pace. 

Chase slides his hand under her thigh and lifts it. The angle changes and Gert whines. “Sorry,” slips out of his mouth, but he’s not sorry. He’ll do just about anything to hear that noise again. He’s keeping a brisk, steady pace sliding in and out of her. He’s also panting hard and sweating, which she thankfully doesn’t seem to mind. 

He needs to make her cum so he can cum because he isn’t going to last much longer. Chase thinks that this position might not be what Gert’s into. But he’s trying not to think about taking her in other positions. Like against the wall or bent over a table. Those thoughts aren’t going to help him keep it together.

He should just tell her and says, “I’m close.”

“Ok,” gasps Gert. Maybe she’s close too?

Gert reaches between their bodies, and Chase pulls back enough to give her room, but he’s not sure what she’s doing, and he’s trying to keep his pace. He’s pulling out further than before, which is different, not bad, actually kind of good. Gert starts to rub her clit, and Chase just watches as he continues to thrust into her. This angle gives Chase a view of her touching herself, which is super hot and watching his dick slip in and out of her. Fuck him. This is really hot, and there’s blood. So he was her first. Could he have done something to prevent her from bleeding? Blood doesn't gross him out, but it is evidence he hurt her, and that thought turns his stomach. Gert closes her eyes and tosses her head back. Her purple hair is falling behind her. He’s deep inside her when that happens, and he doesn’t pull out. She still rubbing her clit, and it seems like it is working for her. Chase’s right hand tightens on her hip, and he tenses. Gert opens her eyes and looks at him and breathes out his name in the only way he ever wants her to say it again, “Chase?”

Chase moves then. He thrusts into her hard, harder than before. Chase thinks; briefly, he’s really fucking Gert Yorkes right now. The table slams into the wall. Gert reaches her right-hand behind her and braces herself on the wall. His left-hand slips off the table and his body falls into her. He grabs her hip shifting her slightly. The new angle feels even more intense, and he makes an embarrassing noise from the back of this throat. 

Chase pleads, “Tell me you’re close.” She has to be close. 

“I’m close,” Gert replies. Chase is going to have to tell Gert this is how he knows God exists. Chase grins into her neck, and his thrusts become more erratic. He hopes he isn’t hurting her. He’s holding her pretty hard. Gert tugs on his hair pulling his face from her neck. He whines a little. He’s cumming in the girl he’s been into since he was a kid. If he dies tonight everything has been worth it. Bonus, he’s not going to die a virgin. 

Chase’s breathing slows and pulls out of her and his head away from her hand. He kisses her temple. 

“You good?” asks Chase. He’s still out of breath. Chase pulls off the condom, ties it off while looking for a trashcan, but when he doesn’t see one, he just drops it on the floor next to his pants. He’ll deal with it later. 

He looks back to Gert’s face, and she nods, “Yeah.”

“Did we cum at the same time?” asks Chase, “Because I thought that didn’t really happen in real life?” Chase is pretty sure cumming at the same time is something that happens in romcoms and porn. He also wasn’t paying close attention to her at the end there, which makes him an asshole but come on. 

Gert hesitates, and Chase gets worried. Chase is still really close to her, but then he realizes, “You didn’t finish did you?”

Gert rushes toward him, kissing him really aggressively. She pulls away too soon and says, “But it’s ok. Sex can be fun without cumming.”

She says it so naturally and casually. Chase raises an eyebrow and says, “Look, I believe just about anything you say to me, but I might have to fight you on this.”

Gert looks surprised and says, “So, what you weren’t having fun until you were inside me?”

This seems like a conversation that could go wrong really fast. But also, he’d like to hear her talk about him being inside her more. 

‘What? No, I like all of this,” says Chase, gesturing to both of them, “But it got pretty amazing--the inside you part,” Chase feels his face flame up and continues, “So, can I...do something to get you there? Or did you not because you didn’t like it?” Did she not like it? “Or because I hurt you?” 

“Chase, you didn’t hurt me--” Gert assures him trying to convince him he didn’t, but there is evidence. 

“There’s literal blood on my dick and on your thighs,” says Chase. 

Gert moves to close her legs, but Chase keeps his hands on her thighs and prevents her from closing them. Gert’s blushing like mad. She has been all night; it is sweet. She’s sweet.  


Chase leans in to kiss her again. His right-hand travels slowly up her right thigh until he touches her lips. And she jumps, slightly. 

“You ok?” asks Chase, “I’m not assuming consent. If you want me to stop say so.” Maybe that is too aggressive, but he’s going to be ready to go again, and he wants to do this again, but only if it is going to be good for her. He continues, “But I’ll probably be good to go again in a little bit, but I want to make sure you get there first.”

Gert laughs and says shyly, “We might not have time for that.” Right, they need to save the world. This is a better alternative to dying tonight. 

Chase leans into her, nods, and says, “Tell me what to do.”

Gert’s blush is staining her cheeks and travels down her neck, and she asks, “What?” like she doesn’t understand what he’s asking. 

Chase tries again, “Tell me what you like. What I need to do to get you off?” He’s trying to concentrate. He can do this. And Chase has a list of daydreams about Gert telling him explicitly what to do, naked. 

“Chase, it isn’t that important,” says Gert as she tries to get up off the table. What? Yes, it is. She should enjoy this as much as he does. 

“Do you not want to? Because if you don’t want to, we can stop, but if it is something else like I’m not doing something you like, I can fix that. I can get you there. It won’t take long,” says Chase. Gert looks reluctant. He can get her there, but maybe she is tired of waiting. Chase leans into her and whispers in her ear, “Come on, I want to see you cum.”

Gert swallows hard and nods. Chase isn’t sure how he convinced her, and he’s wondering if he should have. Is that still consent? Gert leans back on both her hands. Chase keeps his mouth under her ear and leans with her. He slides his middle finger back into her and says, “Not that what I want carries more weight or anything.”

“Right,” says Gert. He wishes he could read her mind. This would be easier if she would just tell him what she likes. 

“Gert, tell me what you like?” asks Chase. He’s asking, but his tone is also kind authoritative.

“I like this. I like you. This is good,” Gert gasps. Chase feels the grin take over his face. She likes him. She likes him like this. She gorgeous, breathing heaving, chest rising and falling, blushing to the tops of her tits, eyes closed, and lips parted.

He moves his left hand to Gert’s lower back pushing her forward to him, while he kisses her neck. Then he adds his ring finger and pointer finger to his middle finger sliding in and out. Her breathing changes immediately; it catches. She likes it. He smiles against her neck. 

Chase rubs her clit firmly with this thumb, and she gets tighter. Chase chuckles, “Ok, definitely didn’t cum when we were having sex, then. I would have remembered that.”

Fuck what she’d feel like cumming on his dick. Gert starts talking, “You’re stimulating my clitoris, which is causing my vaginal muscles to contract.”

“Hot,” says Chase, and he means it. He’s smiling against her neck. 

“Fuck you, Chase.” That sounded like she might be a little mad at him, which is weird because his fingers are inside her, and she’s given no indication that she wants him to stop. 

“Yes,” please says Chase, and he’s enjoying this. Gert being Gert when he has his fingers inside her. Her face says she’s getting mad at him like she thinks he’s making fun of her. He continues, “I like the anatomy lesson. This has been a really informative night for me. Fun and educational.” And you don’t hate me, he thinks. He’s only winning tonight, and nothing could ruin tonight. 

Chase wonders what would happen if he pushed his thumb and fingers together while inside of her. So he tries rubbing his fingers inside her vagina against the top and squeezing his thumb on her clit. She is responding to what he just said, “I’m SURE!”

He immediately stops applying pressure and asks, “Did that hurt?”

Fuck. He just ruined this. Gert gasps again, “No. it was different and surprising,” she pauses to breathe and continues, “I like it a bit rougher, at least I usually am a bit rougher, but the callus on your thumb is pretty great.”

“Yeah?” he asks. She likes it rougher. Save that fact for later. He could be rougher if that’s what she wants, but he wouldn’t trust himself to be really rough with her. 

“Yeah?” repeats Gert. Chase mumbles to himself, my thumb is pretty great.

“What do you usually do when you’re touching yourself?” asks Chase. He needs to know. Really needs to know. Not just for now, but she just said she does, and he’s not sure he can’t know. If she doesn’t tell him, he’s going to be thinking about it for days. 

“It isn’t rocket science, Chase. This is more or less it,” she snarks. 

Chase grins because that is so Gert, but then thinks about how he doesn’t want her to think she has to be that way with him and says, “Don’t be like that.”

Before she can respond, he says, “Mean, Gert, don’t be mean to me when I’m knuckle deep inside you.” He twists his fingers inside her pushing deeper, which might be rougher than he’s been, and she moans loud. 

“What do you like, then?” she asks. 

You. Your purple hair. The taste of your skin. But instead, Chase says, “Anything? I’m 17.”

Chase is rewarded with Gert laughing, and when she does, her pussy constricts around his fingers. Before he even thinks he says, “One day I want to be inside you when you’re laughing.”  


Gert blinks at him surprised maybe that was a forward declaration that he intends to fuck her again. She might not want to. But he concedes and tells her about his jerking off habits, “I prefer when I have more time, but most of the time, I jerk off in the shower in the morning. It takes like 5 minutes.”

Chase shifts his wrist. Gert whines a little and panting out, “Morning. In the morning.” She bites down on her lip, and Chase can’t look away. He’s been staring at her face through this because he wants to see her cum, and he’s been using her face an indicator of whether he’s doing a good job. He thinks he is doing a good job. He shifts his wrist and is rewarded with a high pitch whine from her. 

“Mornings, mornings are good,” says Chase. Then he thinks, “Do we jerk off at the same time?” That’s a distracting thought. What is more distracting is the way Gert is shivering under him. Her right arm gives out, and Chase slides his hand to her shoulder blades to keep her steady. Shit. She’s gripping his bicep really hard, or he thinks it is hard for her. She has comically tiny hands when they are on his body. She’s digging her fingers in, which is kind of uncomfortable. He’s never going to mistake her cumming again because this has been burned into his brain. 

And then she is cumming and gasping his name, “Chase.” Chase stills his hand but keeps his fingers inside her while she comes down from it. Chase pulls his fingers out and grabs her thigh while she steadies her breathing. He’s really fucking hard again. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” says Chase. She really is especially like this: flushed, sweaty, breathing heavy, hair a mess. She looks away from him, which is weird because he can’t look away from her. 

“Hey, you ok?” Chase asks. He can’t catch her eyes which is weird because he’s literally standing between her legs. He follows her gaze to her thighs and the blood, then to his dick. He’s completely over being shy with her now. He smirks to himself, she might think he’s an idiot most of the time, but she wants him. 

What is happening right now? They both came. They both wanted this. Maybe it is the blood that is freaking her out. It is freaking him out a bit. 

Chase puts his hands in her hair directing her vision back to his face and asks, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” replies Gert in seconds. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” says Chase. He’s starting to worry. Why is she nervous? Until she starts closing up, he wasn’t nervous at all. The least nervous he’s been in her presence in years. 

“I--I don’t think,” Gert bites her lip in that way that makes Chase a little nuts, so he closes the distance between them and kisses her again. She’s kissing him back. He drops his one hand from her hair to her back and pulls her closer. He moves his mouth back to her neck and starts kissing her there because she seemed really into it before and now because she runs her hands down his pecks. He leans into her a little more, and she blurts, “Chase, I’m sore.”

He freezes. Her hands are pushing him back or trying to so he steps back a bit. That is the least sexy thing he’s heard tonight. Not that she’s sore. That makes sense, and he should have thought about that. It also explains her hesitation. It is the way that she said it like she’s worried about his reaction that is off-putting. Chase says, “Right, that was dumb of me. I wasn’t necessarily trying to fuck you again. I mean I wasn’t not trying to fuck you either.”

Chase looks at his dick and shifts away from Gert, and he snorts, “If we ignore it, it will go away. I’ll, I’ll grab your dress.” Make it into a joke.

But before he goes for her dress, he decides to grab his pants. If he covers up, maybe Gert will relax a little. He crouches down to grab his pants and is eye level with her pussy, which is awesome because he’s been able to commit a lot of her to memory, but this is a new angle. He pulls up his pants and boxer briefs and grabs her panties, and then he runs his eyes over her. She’s gorgeous. 

Gert shifts on the table. Chase can’t describe it as anything other than closing herself off. Her legs snap shut, and she covers her tits by reaching for her bra. He should have handed that to her. That would have been chivalrous, right?

Gert can’t still be nervous about it? His dick isn’t even that hard anymore. Then she surprises him again by saying, "I can blow you or jerk you off or something. Or if you can be quick.”

His mind stutters because the thought of Gert Yorkes blowing him is a reoccurring dream he usually has after she berates him or wears red lipstick, and he knows those dreams rooted in the patriarchy. But that isn’t the point. He’s really confused. She just said she didn’t want to, but now she does? Chase says, “I’m good. You’ve done enough already,” more than, this is all more than he expected ever, “And you said you’re sore.”

Something is happening right now, and he’s not sure what it is. Gert starts getting dressed with her bra and slip back in place, Chase is hoping things are going back to how they were a few minutes ago. Chase hands Gert her panties and takes a few steps back, so she has more space. She scoots forward on the table, and Chase extends a hand to help her down. He can’t take his eyes off her, and he’s still trying to figure out what happened. 

“I’m ok, Chase,” Gert says trying to reassure him. He nods but isn’t convinced. He also doesn’t let go of her hand, reaches past her to grab her purse and holds her hand to the rest of their clothes. When they get to their clothes, Gert pulls her hand from his. 

Gert has her phone in her hand. It must have been in her purse he briefly thinks, but decides to say something to fill the awkward silence, “Gert, I…”

Gert holds up her phone, “Missed texts and calls. The gang’s looking for us.”

Chase smiles at her, maybe she’s just worried about Pride. Chase reaches for his phone and says, “Must be desperate if they are calling. Karo called like three times.”

Gert makes a face and says, “We shouldn’t keep her, them waiting.”

Chase nods and decides just to let Gert lead. He is also staring at her legs as she slides her panties back on. Chase shakes his head to snap himself out of it and grabs her dress giving it a shake and handing it back with a smile. 

“Ready,” asks Gert, who didn’t wait for a response. She already on her way to the door as Chase is working on getting his shirt on, and she ties her dress.

Chase tries again when they get to the door and starts, “Gert, I…”

“They’re waiting. End of the world to stop, right?” asks Gert. Chase falls silent, nods, and grabs the door for her. He follows her fixing his coat and with his hand on the small of her back. 

In the hall, Karo and Nico are making out. Today’s been weird, but good for them. Also, this makes sense in a way Chase hadn’t considered until he saw it. The quartet looked at each other for a few minutes before Gert gets them all in gear.


	3. Fix it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chase's POV in the van: spoiler we're still not talking about our feelings.

Molly was in the van first. Gert climbed in next, and Chase and Nico had a staring contest to determine who got in next. Chase figures Gert wouldn’t want him sleeping next to her especially after that weird reach around to wake Molly thing from earlier, and Nico simultaneously wanting to be next to Karo and play matchmaker for Gert and Chase. Nico is Chase’s least favorite person. Honestly, he’s just frustrated that Nico keeps calling him on his bullshit. 

Karo ends the staring contest inadvertently by asking Nico to talk with her for a moment. Talking sure thinks Chase. They walk toward the woods with their hands brushing the whole way. Good for them, really. Currently, Chase is trying to determine how to get into the van. He knows how to get in the van, but whether he should make noise and let Gert know he’s getting in the van and risk waking Molly or get in quietly and not alert anyone resulting a creeped out Gert in the morning. 

Fuck it, thinks Chase in frustration. He’s not going to waste more time deciding what to do. Wing it. Things usually work out for him. He’ll be quiet and try convincing Gert in the morning that he’s not a creep. Specifically, he’ll use Nico and Karo. Gert seems invested in their ship. Denoru. 

Chase opens the back door to the van as quietly as he can, climbs in, and promptly trips catching himself on the side of the van with a clang. He immediately looks toward the sleeping girls. Shit. Molly rolls over facing the front seats, but seemingly still asleep. Gert is awake. 

“Sorry,” Chase whispers. Shit. He woke her, but also now he has to deal with where to lay down while she’s staring at him. 

Gert nods but doesn’t say anything. God damn, this is awkward. He doesn’t know what to say to her, and she’s avoiding him. At least, he thinks she is avoiding him. After the dig site, they haven’t had a lot of time to talk, but Gert is never alone. Never. Molly is always there, and he loves Molly, but he can’t walk up to Gert and say, hey let’s talk about the dance with an audience. Her comments to him are snarky, and sometimes Chase thinks flirty, but other times definitely not flirty. 

She also was clear: it was a one-time thing. Chase respects that, her call, he’s not really sure why he doesn’t get a say, but that’s how things are, and he can’t make her want him, but then Nico said Gert was into him, but Gert won’t talk to him without a buffer. This whole thing is an exercise in futility. If there is one thing growing up with his father has taught him, and while he doesn't exercise it much, Chase knows he can be patient. 

“Nico and Karo went for a walk,” whispers Chase. 

Gert nods again but still says nothing. Is he supposed to say something else? Fuck it, he’s just going to screw this up. 

Chase lays down on the side of the van. Chase gives Gert a smile, and she smiles back, but it never reaches her eyes. Yeah, he fucked this up. Did she want him next to her? No. But with limited options, and with Molly and Gert in the van, Chase is so tired he’s asleep within minutes. 

“Chase! Chase!” Nico is hissing at him. Chase bolts upright, and Nico and Karo both flinch backward. He’s going to have to tell the gang not to startle him awake. His flight or flight response is fight, and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. 

“What? The Fuck?” growls Chase as Nico is pinching his side. Chase’s head jerks to where Gert is sleeping. Her eyes are closed so thankfully, Nico and Chase didn’t wake her.

“Move, Chase!” Nico hisses. 

Karo is behind Nico looking awkward. Great, Karo doesn’t want to sleep by him either. He’s not a fucking predator. Karo can’t think he’s still into her after that awkward kiss and seeing how into Nico she is. And Nico was right, Gert and Chase reeked of hook up. Chase Stein can make all women uncomfortable except Nico, who he can’t scare away. 

Karo whispers, “Sorry, Chase, can you move closer to Gert so Nico and I can get in?”

“You guys sleep between me and Gert,” whispers Chase. 

Nico and Karo both look surprised, and Nico narrows her eyes and asks, “Why?”

“She doesn’t want me next to her,” whispers Chase. It hurts to say out loud. Nico and Karo look slightly confused, but Karo moves toward Gert. 

“I don’t care,” says Gert, clear as a bell. Everyone looks at Gert. Her eyes are still shut. Gert continues, “But I do care if you jerks wake up Molly.” What does that mean? Does she want him to sleep next to her?

“You’re the one not whispering,” hisses Nico. Karo puts her hand on Nico’s shoulder. 

“If Chase wants to sleep over there, let him,” whispers Gert, forcefully, as she rolls to face away from them. Chase didn’t know you could whisper forcefully. How can she think that? Where does she get this stuff?

“That’s not what I said,” Chase whispers in response, but Gert provides no indication that she’s heard him. Chase doesn’t know how everything went so off the rails. How can he fix this? Gert seems indifferent to him right now, which is actually worse than when they were at the dig site. At the dig site she was kind of mad at him, and then the indifference set in. The indifference is worse. Chase grew up in a home where any attention was better than no attention. He doesn’t do well with indifference. He doesn’t know what to do. He wants to give her space, but also there is no space. They have a van. And now, she’s acting like he’s the one pushing her away. It pisses him off a bit actually. He’s trying to respect the boundaries set by her. How is this his fault?

Karo looks sad, and Nico seems determined, which is kind of scary. Nico nods at him and pointedly looks at the space next to Gert. Fine, he’ll sleep next to the girl he can’t stop thinking about and who wants nothing to do with him. This will end well. Chase gets into a crouch and moves next to Gert. Chase looks over at Gert. Her eyes are still closed, and when he lays down, Karo settles next to him, and Nico on the other said of her. Nico whispers, “You’re welcome.”

Great, Nico thinks she’s doing him a favor. Nico and Karo have a blanket between them. Chase would have offered his to them, but he’s not interested in sharing with Nico right now. She can cuddle with Karo for warmth, thinks Chase smugly.

“Chase, Chase, you’re still awake,” Nico pokes him in the ribs reaching over a sleeping Karo. 

“Damn, Nico,” Chase growls, “What?”

“Give me your blanket,” replies Nico. He can hear her smirk. In response, Chase grips his blanket tighter as Nico tries to pull it towards her. “Come on Chase, it’s cold,” says Nico, still struggling with the blanket. 

“Not going to happen, Neeks, share with Karo,” Chase says grinning at Nico who blushes and scowls. 

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep,” says Nico.

“Doubt it, and you’re welcome,” says Chase. But he’s about to give her his blanket when one hits him in the face; it would have hit Karo and Nico if Chase hadn’t responded so fast. 

“Thanks, Gert,” whispers Nico. Again Gert doesn’t respond. Nico spreads the blanket over herself and Karo. 

Chase hates sleeping like this. He hates sleeping in close quarters. He’s not a huge fan of tight spaces. He’s a light sleeper; he blames the rents for all of it. But once he got used to the girls and knows they’re asleep, he feels himself calming down and sleep sets in. 

Honestly, Chase doesn’t know how long he was out before he felt Gert shiver and her gasp. His eyes fly open, and he almost bolts up before he realizes that it was Gert and Karo beside him. He always wakes up startled. 

“Gert?” asks Chase, but he has to clear this throat because he sounds sleepy, “Gert, are you ok?” He rolls off his back and onto his right side when he speaks to her. She doesn’t move or say anything. In fact, it seems like she’s holding her breath. Maybe she’s cold. He sits up and shrugs off his trenchcoat, and drapes it over her. 

“Gert, babe, you awake?” asks Chase. He thinks maybe she had a nightmare, and it woke her up. He also doesn’t know how she is going to respond to being called babe, but if nothing else, he’ll get some response from her. He puts his left hand on her hip and raises himself up on his right arm. He’s trying to see if she’s awake, but he knows she is. She’s literally holding her breath, which she can’t do for long. She gasps again and sobs. Chase looks behind him wishing Nico or Karo were also awake, but no luck. 

“Gert, what’s wrong?” asks Chase; a lesser man would be freaking out, and yes, he is that lesser man. 

“Go back to sleep, Chase,” says Gert, and she’s clearly trying to keep her voice steady. 

He can’t do that. Chase takes a deep breath and says, “I can’t do that.” 

Chase puts pressure on her hip and turns her onto her back. Usually, he would never touch or move a girl like this, but he needs to see her face to know what is happening. At the dance watching her face was the best way to know what was happening. She’s clearly distressed, and he doesn’t have a lot of options here. Once he has her on his back, Chase withdraws his hand from her hip. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine,” Gert repeats, more to herself than him, thinks Chase.

“Ok, you’re fine,” says Chase, “But you don’t seem fine right this minute.”

Gert sob laughs. She’s breathing really fast. 

“What can I do?” asks Chase.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” says Gert. Gert has her hands clasped tightly on her stomach, and she’s super tense. Her knuckles are white. 

“Gert, you really don’t seem ok,” says Chase. He reaches over to take her hand in his, but it is a bit of a struggle. He doesn’t want to overpower her, but he wants to make sure he can feel her pulse. He’s successfully holding her hand with his index finger and middle finger on her wrist feeling for a pulse. He’s also trying hard not to think about where else he’s touched her in the last 24 hours. Gert’s clutching his trenchcoat. Her pulse is racing, so, Chase tries again, “Babe, you’re heart is racing. Can you breathe with me?”

He places their joined hands on his stomach and does the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Chase continues, “Just mirror my breathing, just like me ok?”

Gert nods. She’s really tense. Chase is watching her face, the same way he did at the dance. He’s looking for any change in facial expression. She is also crying. He’s always hated when the girls cry. When he was young, Chase would do just about anything to make his mom stop crying after his parents’ got into it. Victor Stein, genius, man of the year, terrorist of wife and child. He walks Gert through breathing a few times, and she seems to be calming down a bit. Tears are still on her face, but she’s crying less maybe even stopped. 

“You feeling better?” asks Chase. Please, say yes. 

Gert blushes, looks away nodding, and says, “Yeah, thanks, Chase. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” asks Chase. Chase remembers sleeping at the Yorkes when he was little, and he woke up with a nightmare. Stacey found him walking around the dining room and cuddled him asking him to tell her what he was scared of. His mom never asked about his nightmares. Probably, because she already knew what they are about. 

Gert bites her bottom lip, and it takes everything in him not to kiss her. She shakes her head no and says, “You should go back to sleep Chase.”

“Not going to happen…too wired,” says Chase. Gert doesn’t say anything. He’d give anything to know what is going through her mind. He should bring it up: the dance, sex, them. Chase continues, “I’m sorry for manhandling you before...I just needed to see your face to get an idea about what was happening.”

Gert doesn’t acknowledge what he’s saying. 

“Was it a nightmare?” asks Chase.

Gert shakes her head no again and says, “It was a panic attack.”

“A panic attack?” asks Chase. He’s racking his brain trying to think about what a panic attack entails. He doesn’t know much or anything. 

“Yeah, I get them sometimes--” says Gert, “I don’t have my emotional support dinosaur or my meds.” This has happened before? 

“You don’t have your meds?” asks Chase, then he thinks, “What are the meds for?”

“Oh, I’m, I’m umm, crazy,” says Gert. Chase feels anger rise in him; he hates when she talks poorly about herself. She feels invisible, but he’s never stopped looking at her. 

“Don’t say that,” says Chase. He’s still holding her hand, which she goes to pull away, but he won’t let her. 

“Why? It’s true. I’m on medication for my anxiety,” says Gert. She seems embarrassed by it. 

“I’m guessing we can’t just walk into a drug store and get them. You’ll probably need a prescription?” asks Chase. 

Gert finally looks back at him and says, “Yeah, I’m stupid; I should have thought about them. We’re not going home. I should have thought this through, what a confrontation with the parents would result in.”

“Stupid isn’t a word I’d ever associate with you. We’ll figure something out,” says Chase. This is a problem he can solve. He doesn’t know how, but that is a finite thing he can figure out. Gert’s feelings, Chase may never figure out. 

Gert scoffs, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?” asks Chase. They should talk, but maybe not tonight. She’s dealing with enough she doesn’t need to think about whatever is going on with them. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty exhausted,” says Gert with a yawn.

“Good,” replies Chase. 

Chase shifts a little but still faces her. He also doesn’t let go of her hand. 

“Chase, can I have my hand back?” asks Gert, she’s blushing again, but in a good way. 

“Nope,” Chase says. 

“Chase,” she says as she pulls her hand.

“Gert,” he says without letting go. He’s smirking at her, and she’s rolling her eyes. Chase continues, “Why?”

Gert opens and closes her mouth twice, and just says, “Because.”

Chase is 90% sure she wants to/likes to hold his hand. He’s not releasing her hand, but if she really pulled it away, he would have let her go. Chase thinks for a minute and decides to go with this gut, saying, “Let me hold your hand--so, I can sleep.”

She looks surprised, but she doesn’t try to take her hand back again. Instead, she settles her head closer to his shoulder. 

“Do you want this blanket?” asks Chase.

“No, I’m fine. You’re coat's warm,” replies Gert.

“If you change your mind, just take it ok?” asks Chase.

Gert rewards him with a small smile, but it is a real one. Chase can’t help it. It feels like they are getting somewhere even if they haven’t talked about it. She’s letting him touch her and more importantly comfort her.


	4. I'm fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert's POV from the van

Gert is sitting really close to Chase. Well, arguably, Chase is sitting really close to her. Nico is sitting across from them, and Gert can’t meet her eyes. Nico and her judgy eyes. Yes, Nico, Gert knows sleeping with a guy to get his attention is ill-advised. Thank you. Nico is invested in Chase and Gert’s non-/maybe relationship/general awkwardness entirely because if Chase is getting into Gert’s pants, then he won’t be trying to get into Karo’s pants, which is never going to happen. 

Molly has been dozing against Gert’s shoulder for the better part of an hour, but Gert is hesitant to send her to bed with Alex being out of pocket. But’s Molly is getting heavy, and Gert thinks she might lose her into the dirt. Chase reaches around Gert and tabs Molly on the knee, saying, “Mols, get into the van. You’re weighing Gert down.”

Molly rubs her eyes and nods to Chase. She just gets up without saying a word, stretches up on her toes, and walks away toward the van. Chase’s arm is still resting against her legs, and she’s staring at it and his hands and trying not to think about what his hands feel like or where they’ve been on her body. Chase seems to notice and withdraws his arm saying, “Sorry.”

Gert shrugs, stands, and announces, “I’m going to bed--I’m going to the van to sleep because we’re sleeping in a van…”

“Down by the river,” says Chase. Nico laughs, but Gert doesn’t get it, wait, is that an old SNL reference? Gert just nods and walks away.

Nico laughs harder and says, “Smooth, Stein.” Gert doesn’t want to hear Chase’s response. Molly is already asleep when Gert gets in the van, but that’s probably for the best. Molly might want to talk and try to make Gert feel better, and Gert doesn’t know how to do that right now. 

Gert tucks a blanket around Molly and lays down next her to her, pulling another blanket over herself. Gert lays there listening to Molly breath, and she can’t turn her mind off. What if Chase wants to sleep next to her? What if he doesn’t? He’s probably disappointed that she’s not going to have sex with him again. That’s why he’s being weird. Or maybe he’s worried she’s going to want to have sex again? She’s just trying to put as much distance as possible between them given the circumstances. How can she be so affected, while Chase isn’t?

Chase stumbles into the van. It actually makes Gert smile a bit because clearly, Chase is trying to be quiet. Chase trips and falls into the side of the van. His head quickly snaps toward Gert and Molly, probably trying to see if he’s woken them up. Gert doesn’t bother to pretend that she’s asleep; it is too late now anyway. They are making eye contact. 

Chase whispers, “Sorry.”

Gert nods. She doesn’t know what to say if anything. Gert hasn’t really tried to talk to Chase since the dig site only what is absolutely necessary. She doesn’t know what to say, and she can’t decide if Chase was relieved or sad that she said they were a one-time thing. 

“Nico and Karo went for a walk,” whispers Chase. Gert nods again but still says nothing. Of course, Chase would want to note where Karo is. The boy can’t take a hint. Gert closes her eyes and prays for sleep. She can hear Chase moving around, and he’s laying down away from Gert and Molly, but with her eyes closed and her terrible depth perception, she can’t tell where. But regardless, Chase is asleep pretty quickly. 

Gert tries everything, counting sheep, counting the letters in words, breathing exercises, everything she can think of. But nothing is working. Gert hears the van door open, and Chase flinches in his sleep but doesn’t seem to be awake. Gert smiles a little looking at his profile. She actually forgot that Chase was a light sleeper. They would stay up all night during sleepovers while the other kids could sleep. Gert never liked the sleepovers unless they were at her house. She hates having to learn to sleep in new places. Chase said he enjoyed the sleepovers, but he never slept well. He was probably humoring them. 

Nico and Karo are whispering to each other, and finally, Nico reaches out for Chase and quietly says, “Chase! Chase!”

Chase bolts upright, causing both Nico and Karo to flinch backward. Damn, Chase, calm down. Gert closes her eyes; she doesn’t have any interest in watching Chase be disappointed about Karo or try to sleep close to her. 

“Move, Chase!” says Nico. Chase must be spread out. 

“Sorry, Chase, can you move closer to Gert so Nico and I can get in?” Karo asks sounding so reluctant. 

“You guys sleep between me and Gert,” whispers Chase. See, of course, he wants as much distance between as possible and closer proximity to Karo. 

“Why?” asks Nico. Gert flinches a little; she really doesn’t want to hear this. 

“She doesn’t want me next to her,” whispers Chase. Wait, what? It sounds like either Nico and Karo are getting into the van. 

“I don’t care,” says Gert. She can hear them all shift around, presumably in her direction. Gert continues, “But I do care if you jerks wake up Molly.”

“You’re the one not whispering,” says Nico in her judgy tone. 

“If Chase wants to sleep over there, let him,” states Gert, as she rolls over to face Molly.

“That’s not what I said,” whispers Chase in earnest. There is movement behind Gert, and it has to be Chase, the weight of the movement alone indicates someone of his size. Gert can feel Chase settle in next to her. She can feel his body heat; he’s way to close. But then he’s gone, well not gone, but further away and still next to her. She’s never going to sleep. How? How is she going to survive close quarters like this with him?

She hears Nico whisper, “You’re welcome” presumably to Chase. Nico needs to stop. Don’t get Gert wrong, she’s the number one Nico-Karo stan, but Nico needs to back off. This whole situation is mortifying enough without Nico’s involvement. 

Sometime later, Gert hears more whispering. Seriously, how are these people not sleeping? They don’t have issues like she does. 

“Chase, Chase, you’re still awake,” Nico whispers to Chase.

“Damn, Nico, what?” Chase responds. 

“Give me your blanket,” says Nico. Oh, so Nico and Karo must be sharing. Gert can hear a slight struggle, but if she knows Chase, he isn’t giving that blanket up. Nico continues, “Come on, Chase, it’s cold.”

Chase will relent in less than five minutes; Gert would bet on it. Chase can’t say no to girls. He caves every time. He’d call it chivalry, and Gert would call it a manifestation of masculinity within a patriarchy. 

“Not going to happen, Neeks, share with Karo,” says Chase. 

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep,” says Nico. Nico might murder Chase. Not really, Nico isn’t that much like her mother, but then again, Nico can be fucking scary when she wants to me. 

“Doubt it, and you’re welcome,” replies Chase in a smug tone. Oh, so Chase is trying to make Nico uncomfortable too. Embarrassing each other is becoming a competitive sport among the gang. Good for Chase, getting one on Nico. Gert doesn’t need to be the butt of another joke between Chase and Nico, so Gert quickly grabs her blanket and tosses it at them. 

“Thanks, Gert,” Nico whispers. Gert can hear shuffling so Nico must be settling in under the blanket. Silence descends again, and pretty soon Nico’s breathing joins Karo’s and Molly’s steady breathing. 

Gert is never going to sleep again. Chase is a surprising still sleeper, at least Gert thinks he is. She can’t tell because she isn’t looking at him. His breathing is steadying as well so he must be falling asleep if he isn’t already. Gert just wants all her friends to be asleep so she can be alone with her thoughts in the dark and freak out accordingly. Chase starts to snore a bit, not in an obnoxious way, it is actually kind of comforting in the regularness of it. 

Gert is struggling here. First, where the fuck is Alex? He might have bailed on them. Gert can tell Chase thinks that is a real possibility, but she can’t get a read on Karo or Nico, and Molly believes the best in everyone, so she isn’t going to be a help here. Second, she is simultaneously feeling really isolated and claustrophobia. 

She can’t breathe. She can’t breathe. She can’t expand her lungs. She grips her shirt in her fist and sobs, but she’s trying to be really quiet as not to wake anyone. She can’t get out of the van without waking everyone. She might have to. She doesn’t know what to do. She is shivering because she is sweating and cold. She’s also starting to cry. She can’t help it. This is too much. This is all too much. She feels movement behind her. Chase is up and panicking, too. 

“Gert?” ask Chase. Just kill me now, thinks Gert. Chase clears his throat, but still sounds sleepy and worried, “Gert, are you ok?” Gert sucks in her breath as Chase is asking her questions. She’s holding her breath. She doesn’t know why she does this when she is crying and trying to stop sometimes she’ll hold her breath. It isn’t effective, ever, so she has no idea why she does it. Chase is still moving around, and not taking her psychic suggestion of going back to sleep when he drapes his pervert coat over her. 

“Gert, babe, you awake?” asks Chase. How dare he? She isn’t interested in utilizing pet names with him when they haven’t defined their relationship, but she can’t speak right now. He’s moving closer to her. He’s touching her. He has his left hand on her hip, but he isn’t applying any pressure. She can’t hold her breath any longer and lets another sob slip out. 

“Gert, what’s wrong?” Chase asks. He’s trying to fix her. 

Gert can’t handle him or her feelings for him right now and says, “Go back to sleep, Chase.” She can’t keep her voice steady, but she’s really trying and hopeful that Chase will let it go. 

Chase takes a deep breath and says, “I can’t do that.” Now, Chase is applying pressure to her hip and rolls her onto her back. Gert can’t really fight him because she might wake the others, and she isn’t sure a. she wants to fight him or b. that she could fight him. Once she is on her back, Chase releases her, so he isn’t touching her at all. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine,” repeats Gert over and over. 

“Ok, you’re fine,” says Chase, “But you don’t seem fine right this minute.”

Gert sobs a laugh, but she can’t breathe. She can’t breathe. This is in her head. This is in her head. She is in control. She is in control. 

“What can I do?” asks Chase. 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” says Gert. She is clutching her hands on her stomach. Her whole body is tense. The tension is almost painful. 

“Gert, you really don’t seem ok,” says Chase. He sounds worried. Great, now she making Chase worry. Her anxiety is becoming contagious. Chase is trying to take her hand, but she is fighting him, well she is resisting. Fighting would take more control than she has, but the tension in her body is helping her resist right now. But again, she is reminded of how much stronger he is than her, because more gently than she thought was possible, Chase wrestles her hand from her stomach. He has her hand now, but he isn’t holding it the way people normally hold hands. He has two of his fingers on her wrist, pressing pretty firmly. Is his touch always so firm? Gert blushes. How? How can she be thinking about the dance and his hands when she’s dying. She’s clutching his trenchcoat in her other hand. 

“Babe, you’re heart is racing. Can you breathe with me?” asks Chase. He pulls their hands to his stomach and does the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Why does Chase even know how to do this? Chase continues, “Just mirror my breathing, just like me ok?”

Gert feels herself nod. She is still really tense, but Chase is trying, and she doesn’t want to disappoint him. Chase is staring at her, and she has to look like a mess with the tears running down her temples. Chase walks Gert through the breathing techniques a few times, and she feels her heart slowing down. She’s not crying anymore. 

“You feeling better?” asks Chase.

Her face is on fire; she nods and says, “Yeah, thanks, Chase. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” asks Chase.

Gert decidedly does not want to talk about what is happening. Gert shakes her head no and says, “You should go back to sleep Chase.”

“Not going to happen…too wired,” says Chase. Gert bites her lip to stay silent. God, she hopes he isn’t going to try talking about the dance. She can’t listen to him tell her about what a mistake it all was. How he wants to just be friends with her. Or that he wants to be friends with benefits so they can have sex, not a relationship. Chase continues, “I’m sorry for manhandling you before--I just needed to see your face to get an idea about what was happening.”

Gert doesn’t say anything. She is just staring at him. Chase still looks freaked out and says, “Was it a nightmare?”

Gert shakes her head no again and says, “It was a panic attack.”

“A panic attack?” asks Chase. Chase is watching her, and she doesn’t know what to say. 

“Yeah, I get them sometimes--” says Gert, “I don’t have my emotional support dinosaur or my meds.” 

Chase smirks a bit at the mention of the emotional support dinosaur. Chase asks, “You don’t have your meds? What are the meds for?”

Right, Gert started treating her anxiety after Chase bailed on her. They weren’t friends anymore so why would Chase know what was happening in her life? She’s practically invisible. Gert gives Chase a fake smile and stumbles through, “Oh, I’m, I’m umm, crazy.” 

Chase makes a face, one of disappointment and says, “Don’t say that.” He hasn’t let go of her hand, so she tries to pull it back, but he won’t let her. He needs to let go of her because she’s having a hard time thinking when he’s touching her. 

“Why? It’s true. I’m on medication for my anxiety,” says Gert. God, this is embarrassing. 

“I’m guessing we can’t just walk into a drug store and get them? You’ll probably need a prescription?” asks Chase. Chase looks like he’s trying to work out a problem, which is exactly how he looked at the dance trying to figure out how to make her--great, now she’s going to see that face and always think of the dance, and he makes that face all the time. 

Gert looks into his eyes and says, “Yeah, I’m stupid; I should have thought about them. We’re not going home. I should have thought this through, what a confrontation with the parents would result in.” She really was being very silly. How did she not think about grabbing her pills?

“Stupid isn’t a word I’d ever associate with you. We’ll figure something out,” says Chase. Chase shouldn’t be so kind to her when he’s keeping him awake. She scoffs but doesn’t say anything. 

Chase asks her, “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?” Thank God, he isn’t going to bring anything else up. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty exhausted,” says Gert with a yawn.

“Good,” replies Chase. 

Chase shifts a little but still faces her. He also doesn’t let go of her hand. 

“Chase, can I have my hand back?” asks Gert, she’s blushing again, but in a good way. Why won’t he give her his hand back? She needs it so she can stop thinking about him. Not that that will work. 

“Nope,” Chase says. 

“Chase,” she says as she pulls her hand.

“Gert,” he says without letting go. He’s smirking at her, and she’s rolling her eyes. Chase continues, “Why?”

Gert opens and closes her mouth twice, and just says, “Because.” What can she say? She likes touching him, and not just in a sexual way, he’s comforting. He used to hold her hand when they were little, and she was scared. 

Chase is silent and then says, “Let me hold your hand--so, I can sleep.”

What? Gert is surprised. What does that even mean? She owes him her hand if he wants it because he has been helping her. She stops trying to take her hand back and moves slightly closer, so her head is close to his shoulder. 

“Do you want this blanket?” asks Chase.

“No, I’m fine. Your coat's warm,” replies Gert.

“If you change your mind, just take it ok?” asks Chase.

Gert smiles at Chase. This would all be easier if Chase was a dick, but he’s a nice guy who cares for people. Of course, he treats everyone the same. Chase smiles back at her, and Gert closes her eyes. Chase holding her hand makes her feel calmer and safer than she has since this mess started.


	5. TB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert misses the point

She practically called him a glorified petsitter. She’s the worst. The literal worst. She keeps finding new and creative ways to put her foot in her mouth and push him away. Not that he doesn’t want to be away from her. She has no idea if he wants to spend time with her, and she wouldn’t want to presume he wants to be with her--near her--in her general proximity. It would be impressive if it weren’t so sad and pathetic. He was going to kiss her again. He went to do the hand on her face and neck thing like the movies. But this isn’t her life. Guys like Chase Stein don’t like girls like Gert Yorkes. They would belong with girls like Karo if Karo were straight. Gert is tucking Old Lace in for the evening and trying to focus on the task, but everything is taking her twice as long, at least it feels like it is. Old Lace is restless and tired of being in the cart. Gert can’t blame her. She also isn’t sure how much of Old Lace’s disposition indirectly related to her disposition. 

Nico and Karo are sharing a tent. Molly is in a tent. She should get in with Molly so the boys can share a tent. But also because she can’t sleep with Chase no matter how much she may want to. They have no reason to sleep together except that she has an easier time falling asleep next to him. Chase and Alex are talking or arguing about something, so they might not want to share anyway. 

Chase, Molly, and Karo set up all the tents in an act of heroism that left Gert, Nico, and Alex relieved. Though, Nico adamantly claimed she could have set the tents up with the instructions. Gert is less confident in her own ability. They have other skills---Nico and Alex have other skills. Gert doesn’t know what she is contributing to the group right now. 

She should sleep with Molly. Except, she’ll keep Molly up all night, and she hasn’t been able to provide much support to Molly anyway. If Gert stays with Chase, she’ll keep him up all night, which isn’t a solution either. She’s enough of a burden on the group already. She contributed absolutely nothing at Graciela’s place. Chase also might not want Gert to stay with him. It isn’t like they talked about it, and she hasn’t even asked. But Chase is a good guy, and he’d let her stay with him if she asked, but she really doesn’t want to ask. 

“Alex, I swear to God,” says Chase with a raised voice. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll sleep here,” says Alex, “But I think this is dumb.” Wait, why is Alex sleeping there in the open? Why would he agree when he doesn’t want to?

Gert is watching them when Chase looks at her, queue awkward eye contact. He strides over and asks, “She all settled?” 

Gert nods and asks, “Why is Alex sleeping there?” 

“He wants to,” says Chase.

“He wants to?” repeats Gert in disbelief. Who does Chase think he’s fooling?

Chase smirks and says, “He wants to put some distance between us.” Chase emphasized the “wants to” part of his statement. Ok, at least that sounds true. Alex and Chase are finding new and insignificant ways to argue with one another. 

Gert nods and says, “Ah, yes. But that isn’t safe, is it?”

“Alex can make his own decisions,” replies Chase, “Anyway, Old Lace is right here. She’ll protect Alex, right?” That last part sounded like Chase was talking to Old Lace and not her. Gert gets a warm feeling in her stomach at the thought Chase is trying to form a relationship with Old Lace. Old Lace snorts in Chase’s direction. 

“Right,” replies Gert. This is awkward. Gert can’t tell what Chase wants, and he isn’t forthcoming. He looks nervous.

“So, I’m tired--” Chase starts. Of course, he thinks he needs to babysit her. That is unnecessary and rooted in the patriarchy and really condescending. Her mental illness doesn’t make her an invalid. 

“You should go to sleep. You’re relieved of sitting duty anyway,” says Gert gesturing to Old Lace. Why did she say that? The worst. 

Chase smirks at her and says, “Yeah, I’m--” then something shifts in his shoulders and he just asks, “Where were you going to sleep?”

“What?” asks Gert. Her face must be giving away how anxious she is because Chase takes a step back. Awesome, she scares him. 

“I just--I didn’t want to leave you out here. I know Lace is out here, but I’d feel better knowing where you’re going to sleep,” says Chase. It is ok for Alex to sleep out here, but she can’t even stand next to her dinosaur? 

“Molly. I’m going to sleep with Molly,” says Gert. 

Chase nods and says, “Good. Cool. That’s good.” Chase is rubbing his hands together, pauses, and then says, “If you need anything, just let me know, ok?”

“Like what?” asks Gert. She keeps doing this: making everything worse. But he doesn’t get to coddle her. 

“No idea, anything,” says Chase giving her a soft smile. Chase walk back a few steps, but he isn’t going into his tent. 

“Chase, I’ll be fine you don’t have to wait for me,” says Gert. Chase has some nerve coddling her. This behavior is directly related to her telling him about her anxiety. He must think she’s fragile or something equally offensive. 

“I know, but I like hanging out with you, so--I’ll wait,” says Chase. Right, thinks Gert. 

She’s frustrated and not in the best headspace, so she says, “Sounds pretty patriarchal to me.”

Chase flinches. “You know that’s not what this is--” starts Chase to defend his actions.

“Do I know that?” asks Gert. Chase steps toward her and reaches out for her, and Old Lace growls. Chase jumps back a bit. Old Lace won’t hurt him, but Chase is afraid of her which proves Chase has some level of self-preservation skills, counter to Nico and Alex’s hypothesis. 

Chase nods and dejectedly says, “I’ll be over there,” pointing toward his tent. He walks over and sits in front of it. Great, she’s successfully pushed him away again — the worst. Gert sighs and finishes checking on Old Lace, tucking her into the best of Gert’s ability, and then walks over to Molly’s tent. 

“Mols, are you awake?” whispers Gert. Please be up, pleads Gert in her head. It didn’t even occur to her that Molly might already be asleep essentially trapping Gert outside or with Chase. 

Chase is still sitting outside of his tent. He’s waiting, and she can feel his eyes on her. Nothing. Come on Molly, thinks Gert. She can’t stay with Chase. She doesn’t know what that would be like. She can’t do that. She can’t not know. She glances in Chase’s direction, and he’s still looking over like this isn’t a big deal. Gert hears movement inside Molly’s tent. Molly opens the tent and Gert climbs in with her sleeping bag. 

She and Molly settle back down. 

“Gert, you ok?” asks Molly.

“Of course, Mols. Get some sleep,” replies Gert. Molly is asleep and snoring softly in five minutes. Gert tries; she really does. But sleep won’t come. She’s tossing and turning in the limited space, and finally, she sits up. 

“Gert, what’s happening?” asks Molly in a sleepy voice. 

“Nothing, Mols,” Gert doesn’t know what is happening. She can’t sleep and says, “Mols, zip up the tent when I get out.”

“Where are you going?” asks Molly. Molly is more alert now. 

“I’m going to check on everyone else. Maybe I’ll be tired in a little bit after checking on Old Lace,” says Gert.

“Ok, I’ll come with you,” says Molly.

“Molly, no. It isn’t necessary,” responds Gert. Molly is trying to protect her, which is totally unnecessary because Gert should be the one taking care of Molly.

“Or maybe you’ll go see Chase?” asks Molly with a knowing smirk.

“What? No. Why would you say that?” asks Gert. Does Molly know? She can’t know. 

“I’m convinced,” says Molly, “He’s been following you around like a puppy. And Nico and Karo are shacking up.” Molly is spending too much time with Chase. 

“Molly, stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and Nico and Karo aren’t shacking up. Chase is Chase. He doesn’t want me,” rambles Gert. 

“Sure, just be nice to him when you see him,” says Molly, “And take your sleeping bag or don’t--if you’re planning on sharing.” Molly sounds smug like she knows something Gert doesn’t. Mortifying is the word that comes to Gert’s mind.

Gert climbs out of the tent with her sleeping bag feeling like she’s just been kicked out. Sure, she meant to leave, but Molly is acting like Gert should just go. So, even Molly doesn’t really need her. After the ritual, Molly crept into bed with Gert, but now Gert’s just been dismissed. Gert wraps her sleeping bag around her. She’s completely useless. 

Old Lace is asleep. Gert can tell from here. Lacey’s breathing is regular and calm, calmer than Gert’s breathing. She could just sit by Lace until morning. It isn’t like she’s going to get any sleep anyway. She’ll just keep Molly up. From here she can see everything, well everyone. 

But she doesn’t know their status. What if Chase took off? Or Karo? Alex is visible, but she can’t tell how he is, what if he isn’t breathing? Gert knows that isn’t a rational thought, but now she can’t stop thinking about it. Why wouldn’t he be breathing? They are all fine. Better check, just in case. Anything could happen; they are in a homeless encampment. Not that homeless people are inherently dangerous, but they are running from murderous parents. And they don’t know anyone here. Isn’t TB coming back in the homeless populations? What if they get TB? What if they all get TB except her because she’s a carrier and she infects everyone she meets?

Gert walks over to Nico and Karo’s tent and hears them inside. At least they are present. She walks past Chase’s tent where she can hear him snoring lightly to Alex. Alex is asleep and breathing fine. Everyone accounted for. TB TBD. 

She paces back to Chase’s tent, but he isn’t snoring anymore. Chase unzips his tent and looks up at her asking, “Hey, what’s happening? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” Chase moves so fast. Chase is out of his tent, standing in front of her now, and grabs her forearms. He isn’t holding them tightly, but he’s clearly concerned looking at her and then scanning the surrounding area, presumably looking for threats. A lot of things are happening right now. 

Gert backs up from Chase, and he releases her. Just so easy. How is it, he can always let go of her so easily? Gert clears her throat and says, “I’m fine, Chase. Everyone is fine.”

“So, why are you wandering around with your sleeping bag?” asks Chase. He sounds so tired. 

“What?” asks Gert. Chase keeps asking questions Gert can’t answer.

Chase looks confused and asks, “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Oh, I, umm, I couldn’t sleep, so I wanted to check on Lacey, and Alex, and just make sure everyone was here--,” says Gert.

“Why wouldn’t they be here?” asks Chase looking confused.

“And there could be a TB outbreak--” continues Gert.

“What?” asks Chase. 

“What?” asks Gert. Because something in the back of her mind makes, her fearful everyone is going to leave her? Obviously. Not that Gert is going to say that to Chase. 

“Ok, I’m not sure we’re getting anywhere,” says Chase. Chase looks around, rolls his shoulders, and cracks his neck. Chase looks like he’s having an internal debate and asks, “Babe, you want to come in?”

Gert balks at the idea for a second. He kept calling her babe the other night. Gert doesn’t know what that means. It sounds really intimate when he says it. As a rule, she’s opposed to pet names as kind of dehumanizing, but when Chase says it, it’s not so bad. Then again, they’re horny 17-year-olds so it might just mean let’s bang. 

“Gert?” Chase puts his hand on her arm, “Look it’s ok if you don’t want to. Are you going back to bed with Molly?” He’s worried. 

“I--I, I don’t know,” Gert squeaks out. What is wrong with her? She can have sex with Chase, but can’t sit in a tent with him? Chase hasn’t let go of her arm; the weight and pressure of his hand is comforting. 

“Ok, you don’t have to know, but if we’re going to sit out here, I’m going to grab my jacket or sleeping bag,” says Chase.

“Oh, you don’t have to babysit me,” says Gert. She irritated at him again. 

“But, I’m a good babysitter,” says Chase with a grin. He’s clearly joking, but Gert doesn’t think it is funny. However, when he smiles like that Gert does stupid things. Chase whispers, “Come in.”

Gert nods, and Chase opens the flap of the tent, holding it open for her. Gert looks at it and then him, then it again. Gert asks, “Why don’t you get in? You’ll take up more space, and it's yours so you should be comfortable…” Except, these tents are Alex’s, and while they have embraced communal living, this tent is no more Chase’s than anyone else. 

“Yeah, but I’d rather sleep by the entrance,” Chase says like it is the most normal thing. 

“Why?” asks Gert. That is so weird and probably some expectation rooted in Chase’s fragile masculinity. 

“Habit,” says Chase. What does that mean, thinks Gert. Chase gestures for her to get in, but she hesitates. Chase continues, “Gert, why aren’t you---are you---did I do something?”

“What? No,” says Gert as Chase says, “Because, if I did, I’m sorry ok?”

“Chase, you didn’t do anything,” says Gert.

“It just seems like you’re--really scar--umm uncom--disinterested--” begins Chase. What is he trying to say? Chase is rubbing the back of his neck and looks so uncomfortable. 

“I’m not afraid of you, Chase,” states Gert. Chase visibly relaxes a bit. Does he really think she’s afraid of him? Gert continues, “Chase, I’m never going to be afraid of you,” she leans in toward him, his eyes widen, and she says, “I’ve seen you cry over that nest of sparrows.”

Chase laughs a little and says, “Well, we were 8, and it was an emotional time for me, a whirlwind engagement, divorce, and everything.”

Gert can’t help it but smile, Chase remembers their wedding as kids. She’s surprised he remembered and surprised she’s pleased by his memory. This is ridiculous. Gert says, “And to think she left the same day, but there wasn’t a divorce.”

“Yeah, well, heartbreaker, but worth it,” says Chase, “I even carried you over the threshold.”

“On your back!” says Gert.

“Hey, I didn’t have the upper body strength I have now,” says Chase flexing his arms. 

“Dale made me leave,” argues Gert trying not to look at Chase’s arms, but she feels herself blush. He’s too attractive.

“Dale? Never knew your dad hated me so much,” Chase says with a grin.

“Dale doesn’t hate you. Dale might have missed you more than I did when you started hanging with Atlas’s elite,” says Gert. Why can’t she stop talking? Chase looks guilty. Great, she making him feel bad. 

“Yeah, douche move,” says Chase. 

“I resent the use of that word--” begins Gert.

“Because of the patriarchy or negative gendered connotations? But aren’t douches bad for women too?” interrupts Chase. 

Gert opens and closes her mouth, but doesn’t actually say anything because Chase surprised her again. She is still debating whether or not to get into the tent. She doesn’t know what getting in is going to mean if she does. Does Chase expect anything? 

“We’re married so--And we’ve already slept together,” says Chase. It must have occurred to him what he says because he blushes and stammers, “When we were kids--at sleepovers--just slept together not a euphemism for anything else.” He's so awkward, and it is kind of adorable. 

But Gert climbs into Chase’s tent, and she can hear him exhale. She doesn’t know where to sit, and Chase climbs in the right behind her and zips the tent. He pulls her sleeping bag off her shoulders and lays it out on the floor of the tent next to his sleeping bag. He gestures for Gert to settle next to him; she sits with her legs crossed. 

Chase, however, lays down on his side facing her. She’s tugging at her skirt, which seems impossibly short right now. Gert fidgets with her skirt and doesn’t know what to say. 

Chase grins at her and says, “So, Dale likes me?”

“Yeah, well he doesn’t know any better--and is a murderer,” says Gert. Gert isn’t sure why Chase would care whether Dale likes him or not. Gert gives exactly zero fucks if Victor Stein likes her. 

“Well yeah, but still,” says Chase, smiling. 

“He really did make me leave. Dale was always the one who made us go home,” says Gert. She’s smiling a little thinking back to spending so many summer nights at Karo’s. But mostly, the kids would end up in her backyard.

“Probably for the best,” says Chase. What does that mean? Her face must have tipped Chase off because after a pause he mumbles, “Mom and dad fight sometimes. It’s why we never slept over at my place.” 

“I didn’t know, but it's nice to know someone stands up to the great Victor Stein,” says Gert. She can’t imagine Janet Stein standing up to Victor, but she is feeling a new sense of respect for the woman. But the look on Chase’s face makes her wonder what their fights were about or like because he’s looking at her like she missed the point. It isn’t a look Gert receives often. Maybe his parents yell at each other, Dale and Stacey rarely raise their voices. Chase never liked loud spaces, which is why him partying with Brandon and Lucas was always weird to her, but what he does or did, or likes has nothing to do with her. 

“Dale and Stacey must fight too,” says Chase. 

Gert shakes her head no and says, “Not really. Though, we have some tense family debates about campaign finance reform.”

“I’ll bet,” laughs Chase. 

“Well, Dale is a pragmatist, and while we all know--” Gert stops herself and asks, “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Shouldn’t you?” replies Chase with a soft smile.

“I haven’t slept well since we left home,” says Gert; she might be purposefully trying not to think about waking up next to Chase in the van. 

“Yeah, me either. I don’t like sleeping in new places,” says Chase. Gert can’t help but think, well we have something in common. She needs to stop doing this to herself. Thinking that she has a chance with Chase Stein is only going to end badly. 

“So, we might as well stay up together?” asks Gert. 

“Yeah, why not?” asks Chase.

“Because regular sleep is important for development--” begins Gert, but Chase raises his hands up in a stop motion. Gert stops but only because a yawn came on. 

“Why don’t you lay down?” asks Chase, “In case you get tired.”

Gert nods and stretches out next to Chase in her sleeping bag. Chase for his part got inside his sleeping bag. They are facing each other. Gert closes her eyes because otherwise, she’d be looking into Chase’s eyes, and she’s not sure that is a good idea. The tent is a tight squeeze for the two of them.

At some point, Gert must have fallen asleep because she wakes up when Chase sits up. She must have rolled over on him. 

Gert feels like her face is on fire, and Chase looks confused and disoriented. Chase grumbles, “What’s going on?”

Chase seems really alert for someone who was startled out of sleep. 

“Sorry, Chase,” says Gert.

“Babe, you ok?” asks Chase. He reaches out and brushes her hair off her face.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I must have rolled over and hit you in my sleep. When you sat up I woke up,” says Gert. 

“Sorry, babe,” says Chase. He looks embarrassed, too, which seems weird. What does he have to be embarrassed by? She’s the one who assaulted him in her sleep. Chase continues, “Was it a nightmare or your anxiety again?”

“I don’t know,” replies Gert, “What about you? Did I hit you that hard?” God, how embarrassing. So sorry, she thinks, I’m a spaz and can’t be trusted to sleep next to people.

“No, of course not. I don’t think you can hit hard. I’m a light sleeper,” says Chase. Chase seems like he’s holding back, but who is she to judge. Maybe she should ask, but she doesn't know how to ask or how to have real conversations with Chase right now. Gert lays back down rolling away from Chase to face the back of the tent, chickening out of anything. 

“I really didn’t hurt you?” asks Gert looking over her shoulder at Chase. 

Chase laughs, “Gert, and I mean this with no disrespect, but you shocked me more than anything. You have the upper body strength of a teenage girl.”

Gert glares at him. Is he calling her weak? She must have made a face because Chase immediately says, “I’m not saying you’re weak or anything. I lift and fight all the time. You’re never going to hurt me physically.”

“You fight all the time?” asks Gert. Chase’s jaw sets and he shrugs rolling onto his back and away from her. Who the hell is Chase fighting all the time? Does Atlas have a fight club? She never sees bruises, well only the ones from lacrosse. Maybe they are using different definitions of all the time. She should ask him about that some other time when he seems less resistant to talking to her. Maybe she’s kept him up too long, and he’s getting frustrated with her. She could proposition him again, but she’s not sure he’s even into her like that, or maybe he’s only interested in her like that. What is wrong with her, thinking about hooking up with Chase in a homeless encampment so he won’t be mad at her? She’s the worst, a disgrace to feminism. 

Gert’s still in her feelings about Chase thinking her weak and says, “I could set Old Lace after you.”

“Well, you didn’t see us earlier, we’ve bonded. She might like me more than you, now,” says Chase. 

Gert scoffs, “Never.” It is easier to do this with him without looking at him, whatever this is. Are they flirting?

“Yeah, probably not. Who would like me more than they like you?” agrees Chase. Chase sounds far away even though he’s laying right there. Chase whispers almost under his breath, “I wouldn’t hurt you either.” Gert thinks he’s not talking to her.

They lay there in silence, and Gert starts to doze off when Chase drapes an arm over her waist, and he asks, “Is this ok?”

Gert nods.

“You sure?” asks Chase.

She nods again.

“Can you say it?” asks Chase. It’s like he doesn’t believe her. 

“It’s ok,” replies Gert. 

Chase slips his hand into her hand, and he’s much closer than when he was laying on his back. They are spooning in separate sleeping bags. Chase asks, “This ok?”

“Yeah, Chase,” says Gert. Gert doesn’t know what to think. Chase is holding her hand again. He’s holding her, and for the third time since this whole shit show started, she feels safe, weighed down. When this is all over, she’s going to have to insist they all get tested for TB and probably a dozen other things.


	6. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chase misses the point

Chase can’t remember Alex being this annoying when they were kids. Alex who has money and supplies from God knows where and whose origins Alex won’t divulge. Chase keeps glancing over at Gert with Old Lace. Nico and Karo shacked up after Chase and Karo set up the tents. Molly supervised in a what Chase imagines is how annoying little sisters involve themselves. 

Karo did check in with him though, and it was way more useful than Nico. Karo wanted to make sure he was ok about whatever was going on with Gert, and then gave him pointers. Karo who has never had a girlfriend before Nico, if Nico is her girlfriend, telling Chase what to do to get back in Gert’s good graces. Karo might be lesbian Jesus. Molly is in a tent already, and Chase suspects Gert will sleep with Molly, but he wants to be sure. 

Which brings him back to Alex, who is annoying as fuck. They used to be cool. Chase would play video games with Alex and Amy all the time, and Chase and Alex would even mock each other about their respective crushes. 

“Alex, come on, Gert isn’t doing well,” pleads Chase.

“Dude, you’re transparent,” replies Alex.

“What the fuck does that mean?” asks Chase.

“Look, I don’t care how into you she is, girls, don’t hook up in places like this…” says Alex.

“I’m not trying to hook up with her--” starts Chase. Honestly, he’s getting really tired of all his friends thinking he’s an asshole trying to coerce Gert into sex she doesn’t want to have. He isn’t even thinking about sex---that much. Ok, he’s thinking about it a lot, but not acting on it. How do you not think about it when constantly in close proximity to the girl in question, and when the alternative is to think about how your parents are murderers and father might be dead. 

“Sure, then why are you asking me to sleep outside?” asks Alex, both of their attention is nabbed by two people having sex in an abandoned car. Alex sighs and says, “I stand corrected.”

“Gross,” says Chase.

“Right?” laughs Alex. Both of them are thoroughly freaked out by this whole situation and awkwardly laughing. 

“Well, sex is on Maslow's hierarchy of needs,” concedes Chase. 

“I still don’t think Gert is going to fool around with you in a tent,” says Alex.

“Oh, my God, I’m not trying to hook up with her,” Chase growls through a clenched jaw, “She had a panic attack the other night and isn’t sleeping.”

Alex looks surprised and worried and says, “Is she ok?”

“I think so? Honestly, I don’t have any idea. I haven’t been able to talk to Molly--” says Chase.

“Her pills aren’t working?” asks Alex. Wait, how does Alex know about Gert’s medication?

“How do you know Gert is on medication?” asks Chase. He’s trying not to be jealous over something so silly, they both care about Gert, but Alex and Gert still talked while the rest of the gang fell apart. They had honors classes together. 

“I don’t know; she’s taken them for years?” replies Alex.

“She doesn’t have them,” replies Chase. 

“What do you mean she doesn’t have them?” asks Alex with worry evident in his voice, “Why wouldn’t she bring them? How did you--”

“Woah, I didn’t know she had meds. It wasn’t a cognizant decision. And we’ll figure this out. Until then, I’d like to make it the least awkward and embarrassing for her if she needs to sleep with me again--for the breathing exercises--nothing else,” rambles Chase. 

“Still, that was irresponsible of her--” begins Alex. Chase thinks, sincerely thinks about punching Alex in the face.

“Alex, I swear to God!” shouts Chase.

“Fine, fine. I’ll sleep here,” says Alex, “But I think this is dumb.” 

“Thank you, Alex,” says Chase. Thank fucking God. Alex is being difficult to be difficult, but at least they can agree the girls come before whatever issues they are having. Chase looks back at Gert who is still fusing with Old Lace, but they make eye contact, so Chase decides to take a chance. 

Except she looks like a deer in headlights, like she might bolt at any minutes. Excellent, Chase is back to feeling kind of like a predator. Chase picks up the pace and asks, “She all settled?”

Gert is still just staring at him, but then she nods and asks, “Why is Alex sleeping there?”

Chase says, “He wants to.”

“He wants to?” repeats Gert with an eyebrow raised, but she sounds like she doesn’t believe him because of course, she doesn’t. But she has no evidence that he just guilted Alex into sleeping outside.

Chase shrugs and smirks, “He wants to put some distance between us.” That’s not a lie. Chase and Alex would be happy with a great deal of distance between them. 

Gert nods and says, “Ah, yes. But that isn’t safe, is it?”

She looks nervous, and Chase wants to stop talking about Alex. Chase rubs his hands together, and says, “Alex can make his own decisions. Anyway, Old Lace is right here. She’ll protect Alex, right?”

Old Lace snorts in agreement, well Chase thinks in agreement. Really the more distance between him and the dinosaur the better, too. 

“Right,” agrees Gert. Gert seems to be waiting for him to say or do something, maybe she just wants him to walk away.

Get to the point, Stein thinks Chase, but how to get to the point without making it sounds like a come on. Chase beings, “So, I’m tired--”

Gert is nodding and says, “You should go to sleep. You’re relieved of sitting duty anyway.” She’s gesturing to Old Lace when she’s talking to him and not really looking at him.

Chase is being dismissed might as well get this over with, and he says, “Yeah, I’m--” He’s what exactly? Chase continues, maybe a little blunter than he should be, “Where were you going to sleep?”

“What?” asks Gert. She looks terrified, so Chase backs up a bit. 

“I just--I didn’t want to leave you out here. I know Lace is out here, but I’d feel better knowing where you’re going to sleep,” says Chase. Did that sound like an invitation? Or did that sound like general curiosity? Chase isn’t sure which he was going for, to be honest. 

“Molly, I’m going to sleep with Molly,” says Gert. 

“Good. Cool. That’s good,” says Chase nodding, “If you need anything, just let me know, ok?”

“Like what?” asks Gert. No idea, why in God's name did he ask her that? Did her response sound aggressive? Is she mad at him?

“No idea, anything,” replies Chase. Maybe he’s coming on too strong. Chase takes a couple of precautionary steps back from Gert, but he isn’t heading to his tent just yet. He’ll wait for her. 

Or not, Gert says, “Chase,” using his name in that tone is probably not a good thing, “I’ll be fine you don’t have to wait for me.” Gert has a look that says he’s offended her or something. Chase has no idea what he’s done. 

“I know, but I like hanging out with you, so--I’ll wait,” says Chase trying to defuse whatever it is that is happening. 

Well, that didn’t work, Gert huffs and says, “Sounds pretty patriarchal to me.”

Chase feels himself flinch at her word and tries to recover, “You know that’s not what this is--” but he doesn’t get the chance.

“Do I know that?” asks Gert. Chase steps forward towards Gert and reaches out to her, but Old Lace growls. So much for solidarity with the freaking dinosaur. Chase stumbles back from Old Lace and by default, Gert. Chase isn’t a fan of that fucking dinosaur; it is hard enough to get close to Gert, but now that she has a dinosaur keeping them all even further away. 

He can’t win here, and he’s not sure what a win would be. Instead, he nods and says, “I’ll be over there,” gesturing to his tent. He doesn’t want to pressure her. She wants space, so he’ll give her space. 

Chase settles in front of his tent on the ground and watches Gert continue to fuse over Old Lace until both are content, and Gert walks over to Molly’s tent. Chase can’t really hear what is being said by Gert, but he can imagine. Gert is shifting back and forth waiting for Molly, and Chase considers getting up and going to her. Gert keeps glancing his way, and Chase can’t tell if it is because he makes her nervous or if she’s nervous about something else or if she wants him to come over. Then Molly opens the tent and lets Gert climb inside. Chase waits for a few minutes to ensure Gert is actually going to sleep, and he looks over at Alex who looks more or less asleep already. 

The nice thing about this whole experience is that despite how much Chase hates sleeping in new places, he isn’t having as much trouble falling asleep. He doesn’t want to give too much thought to whether it is his physical exhaustion of being a runaway or the lack of Victor that makes it easier to sleep, but a voice in the back of his head reminds him that even during state’s last year, and two a day practices, he was exhausted, but never slept well when his dad was home. 

Chase wakes with a start; someone is walking around outside his tent. The person is heading toward Alex, so Chase opens his tent up and climbs out. Chase sizes up what he’s looking at, which is Gert wringing her hands. Chase is worried and asks, “Hey, what’s happening? Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

Chase is looking around for what might be the trouble. She doesn’t look hurt. He moves close to her and takes her forearms in his hands firmly. Gert takes a step back, and Chase reluctantly lets go of her. Gert clears her throat and says, “I’m fine, Chase. Everyone is fine.”

I’m fine is becoming Gert’s soundtrack. Chase is confused, but adrenaline is pumping in his system after the scare. Chase asks, “So, why are you wandering around with your sleeping bag?”

“What?” replies Gert. 

Ok, Chase is now even more confused and asks, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Oh, I, umm, I couldn’t sleep, so I wanted to check on Lacey, and Alex, and just make sure everyone was here,” replies Gert.

What is happening or more specifically, what is going through Gert’s mind. Chase is just very confused and asks, “Why wouldn’t they be here?”

“And there could be a TB outbreak--” continues Gert.

“What?” asks Chase. What outbreak? There’s no outbreak...

“What?” asks Gert. 

Christ, Chase isn’t in the right mind for this. They seem to be speaking different languages at one another. Chase says, “Ok, I’m not sure we’re getting anywhere.” Chase cracks his neck, decided to take a risk, and decides to bite the bullet and just do it, asking, “Babe, you want to come in?”

A risk, sure, but Chase doesn’t know what is happening, and if this is going to be awkward, might as well be awkward inside the tent. Gert looks really apprehensive. Chase lays his hand on Gert’s arm and says, “Gert, look it’s ok if you don’t want to. Are you going back to bed with Molly?”

“I--I, I don’t know,” says Gert in a panicked tone. Chase feels his chest constrict. He keeps his hand on her arm. 

Chase isn’t sure what the right answer is here, so he says, “Ok, you don’t have to know, but if we’re going to sit out here, I’m going to grab my jacket or sleeping bag.”

Gert immediately replies with a snarky, “Oh, you don’t have to babysit me.”

Is that what she thinks he’s doing? Chase goes with a joke and says, “But, I’m a good babysitter.” The joke doesn’t land with Gert though, and she is just watching him. Chase says, “Come in,” in what he hopes isn’t a suggestive tone. 

To Chase’s surprise, Gert nods so he opens the flap of the tent for her. Gert looks at it and then to him, then back to it. God, what if she’s afraid to be alone with him. Gert asks, “Why don’t you get in? You’ll take up more space, and it’s yours so you should be comfortable…”

Chase doesn’t even think about it; he just says, “Yeah, but I’d rather sleep but the entrance.”

It isn’t until Gert asks him why that he puts any thought into it. Chase prefers to sleep by the entrance because that way he’s the first person someone will come to in a room. He’s not going to tell Gert that though, so he smiles and says, “Habit.”

He’d rather focus on her hesitation and asks, “Gert, why aren’t you--are you--did I do something?”

“What? No,” says Gert while Chase says, “Because, if I did, I’m sorry ok?”

Gert immediately says, “Chase, you didn’t do anything.”

Chase doesn’t know how to say it, but he really needs to know if she’s afraid of being alone him. He says, “It just seems like you’re--really scar--umm, uncom--disinterested--” He rubs his hand across the back of his neck and knows he’s making this worse. 

Gert scoffs at Chase and says, “I’m not afraid of you, Chase,” as if he’s being ridiculous, and she continues, “Chase, I’m never going to be afraid of you.” She leans in and continues, “I’ve seen you cry over that nest of sparrows.”

That’s bull, but also she’s closer to him than she has been in a while. In his defense, he was 8. Guys can cry when they are kids...though that thought gives him pause because he’s sure, Gert would have something to say about it. Chase laughs thinking about Gert's reaction to his thoughts and says, “Well, we were 8, and it was an emotional time for me, a whirlwind engagement, divorce, and everything.” 

Gert smiles at him, and Chase feels himself relax a little. Gert says, “And to think she left the same day, but there wasn’t a divorce.”

“Yeah, well, heartbreaker, but worth it,” says Chase, “I even carried you over the threshold.”

Gert squeals, “On your back!”

“Hey, I didn’t have the upper body strength I have now,” says Chase. He flexes when he says it and watches Gert’s eyes travel across his chest and down his arms. She blushes, which just encourages him. 

“Dale made me leave,” says Gert looks away. 

“Dale, never knew your dad hated me so much,” replies Chase with a grin. 

Gert’s face falls like she’s actually worried, wait, does Dale hate him? But Gert says, “Dale doesn’t hate you. Dale might have missed you more than I did when you started hanging with Atlas’s elite.”

Ok, that’s a low blow. Gert has a way of always calling him out on his bullshit. Can’t deny it, so Chases says, “Yeah, douche move,” without much thought. 

“I resent the use of that word--” begins Gert. Fuck. 

“Because the patriarchy or the negative gendered connotations?” asks Chase, but then he thinks, “But aren’t douches bad for women, too?”

Gert looks surprised and maybe pleased he put thought into replying to her, but she doesn’t say anything. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, and Chase can see her debating whether to get into the tent. Chase doesn’t know what to do except sit out here all night with her. Chase again decides to wing it and says, “We’re married so--And we’ve already slept together,” but the moment the words come out of his mouth Chase knows he says the wrong thing. How is everything he says an innuendo? He feels his face get hot and stumbles over his words, “When we were kids--at sleepovers--Just slept together not a euphemism for anything else.”

However, Gert climbs into Chase’s tent, and he finally lets out the breath he’s been holding since she started moving again. Gert doesn’t seem to know where to sit, but Chase climbs immediately behind her and zips the tent. He then takes her sleeping bag and lays it out next to his. Chase gestures for Gert to sit on her sleeping back next to him. She sits with her legs crossed, and her skirt shifts up her thighs, which Chase totally isn’t looking at because that would be wrong...right? She’s tugging at her skirt, so he’s probably making her uncomfortable again. Chase lays down facing her and purposefully looking at her face. It seems like she doesn’t know what to say or do. 

Chase grins at Gert and says, “So, Dale likes me?”

Gert blinks at him like he’s saying something quasi stupid, but she says, “Yeah, well he doesn’t know any better--and is a murderer.” 

Honestly, Chase isn’t sure why he cares what Dale thinks of him. He always liked the Yorkes, all of them including Molly and Gert. But Dale is what Chase thinks of when he thinks of what father are supposed to be like, well Dale and Coach. Dale in his ugly sweaters and crocks overly enthusiastic at all times. Chase can still feel his smile and says, “Well yeah, but still.”

Gert smiles and says, “He really did make me leave. Dale was always the one who made us go home.”

“Probably for the best,” says Chase, and again he isn’t thinking before he speaks. He shouldn’t have said that. Gert makes a face, so he continues, “Mom and dad fight sometimes. It’s why we never slept over at my place.”

Gert is still making a face but says, “I didn’t know, but it’s nice to know someone stands up to the great Victor Stein.” Gert never liked his dad. He can’t blame her. Victor never cared much for her either. But she doesn’t get it. And it is better that way. He can’t imagine Dale hitting Stacey, Gert, or Molly, and if he did, Chase would do something about it. At least he hopes he would. Would Gert or Molly even tell him? Probably not. Dale might be a murderer, but he isn’t a dick. 

Chase decides to check anyway and says, “Dale and Stacey must fight too.”

Gert shakes her head no and says, “Not really. Though we have some tense family debates about campaign finance reform.”

Chase laughs because he could see that and says, “I’ll bet.”

“Well, Dale is a pragmatist, and while we all know--” begins Gert, but she cuts herself off and asks, “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Chase retorts, “Shouldn’t you?”

“I haven’t slept well since we left home,” whispers Gert looking away from him, which makes him think maybe she’s thinking about the night in the van. Was she not comfortable then either?

“Yeah, me either. I don’t like sleeping in new places,” says Chase. 

“So, we might as well stay up together?” asks Gert. 

“Yeah, why not?” asks Chase. 

“Because regular sleep is important for development--” Gert begins, and Chase can recognize her gearing up for something, so he raises his hands in a surrender motion, and Gert stops and yawns. 

“Why don’t you lay down?” suggests Chase, “In case you get tired.”

Gert agrees and stretches out in her sleeping bag next to Chase. Chase also climbs into his sleeping bag. They are facing each other, but Gert closes her eyes. The tent is tight with the two of them laying there. 

Chase wakes up to Gert smacking him in the face. Chase immediately sits up to get a handle on the threat, and when he sits up fast jostling Gert. Or maybe she was already awake based on the blush on her cheeks. Chase asks, “What’s going on?”

Gert looks embarrassed and says, “Sorry, Chase.”

“Babe, you ok?” asks Chase. He brushes her hair off her face, which he doesn’t give any thought to before he does it, but she moves her face toward his hand. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. I must have rolled over and hit you in my sleep. When you sat up I woke up,” says Gert quickly. 

“Sorry, babe,” replies Chase. Shit. He woke her up because he’s a mess. Chase continues, “Was it a nightmare or your anxiety again?”

“I don’t know,” says Gert, “What about you?” Chase looks at her confused, but she continues, “Did I hit you that hard?”

Chase is surprised by her question. Does she think she can hurt him? Other than his feelings anyway. She’s tiny. Chase says, “No, of course, no. I don’t think you can hit hard. I’m a light sleeper.”

Gert looks disappointed, but she rolls away from him with her back towards him. 

Chase takes a couple breathes and settles down beside her again. Gert looks over her shoulder at him and says, “I really didn’t hurt you?”

Chase laughs and says, “Gert, and I mean this with no disrespect, but you shocked me more than anything. You have the upper body strength of a teenage girl.”

Gert glares at him. Great, he’s making this worse again. Chase immediately says, “I’m not saying you’re weak or anything. I lift and fight all the time. You’re never going to hurt me physically.”

Gert asks, “You fight all the time?”

Fuck. Chase breaks eye contact and rolls onto his back. He’s ignoring her question in the hope that she’ll let it go. How would he even answer that question? My dad and I fight all the time. There is no way to answer this without scaring her and making this about him when the idea was to make her feel like she was safe and could sleep. 

“I could set Old Lace after you,” grumbles Gert. 

“Well, you didn’t see us earlier, we’ve bonded. She might like me more than you, now,” replies Chase. He’s still staring at the ceiling of the tent. 

Gert scoffs, “Never.”

Chase likes flirting with Gert even when they weren’t friends anymore; Chase liked flirting with her. She’s all sharp barbs and shy smiles. 

“Yeah, probably not. Who would like me more than they like you?” agrees Chase. He’s still trying to get his mind away from his father. Chase would think it would be easier with Gert laying next to him, but it isn’t. God, what if he hurt her. Chase whispers, “I wouldn’t hurt you either.”

Thankfully, Gert doesn’t acknowledge what Chase said; she probably didn’t hear him. They lay there in silence. Gert’s breathing starts to even out. Chase rolls over to face her back, and he drapes his right arm around her waist, asking, “Is this ok?”

Gert nods.

“You sure?” asks Chase. He needs to hear it. 

She nods again.

“Can you say it?” asks Chase. 

“It’s ok,” replies Gert, with confidence, more confidence than he has right now. 

Chase slips his hand into her hand, and he’s much closer than when he was laying on his back. They are spooning in separate sleeping bags. Chase asks, “This ok?”

“Yeah, Chase,” says Gert. Chase is holding her hand again. Chase feels Gert fall asleep, but he’s still struggling. He needs to figure out how to help her and how to get the entire gang out of this situation.


	7. Danny Devito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chase and Gert finally talk...kind of.

“Fourth-wave feminism is really being shaped by technology,” continues Gert. She’s been going strong for about two-hours and showing no signs of stopping. So far, they’ve talked about inherent racism in the early women’s movement, and now they’re moving into modern feminism. Well, she talked about the inherent racism of the early women’s movement, and Chase has listened or tried to listen. Chase thinks she’s skipped several waves but isn’t honestly sure. He might have blacked-out and missed the second and third waves of feminism. Another alternative is Gert isn’t sticking to a chronological overview of feminism. 

“Because of social media?” nods Chase. It isn’t really nodding though because they are laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling, well Gert is staring at the ceiling, and Chase is lying face up but looking at Gert out of the corner of his eye. Chase also doesn’t know whose bed this is. He’s pretty sure he’s supposed to sleep here, but he isn’t sure how much sleeping will happen. But not in the good let’s keep exploring one another in a carnal sense way, but Gert’s mind isn’t shutting down anytime soon way. This is Gert’s room. She declared it her room shortly after the others got back from the Minuro’s, but no one is really talking about that yet either. Just Karo and Nico are sharing a room, so they must have made up to some degree, and Molly picked a small one. Chase doesn’t know where Alex is sleeping, exactly. Alex is somewhere on the first floor. Just a habit Chase developed years ago, knowing where people are in the house. He’s also a light sleeper, which means if Gert’s up, he’s up. #teamnosleep for days, but he isn’t angry about it. At some point, they both are going to have to sleep though. 

“That’s pretty simplistic, but, yeah,” replies Gert, “Fourth-wave of feminism is characterized by the desire for the empowerment of women and the dependence on the Internet. However, this particular wave does emphasize intersectionality and the systems of power that stratify and marginalized social groups.” She’s talking really fast, which makes it even harder to understand her. She’s always been like that even when they were kids and never seems to have any idea at which speed she’s speaking. 

“Totally,” responds Chase passively. 

“You’re not listening to me,” sighs Gert more to herself than him. She’s fidgeting with her hands, which is what she does when she’s nervous. Chase isn’t sure how she can be nervous. Two-hours ago, he was nervous. Getting in bed with her is a nerve-racking thing to do right now because he’s worried he’s going to come on too strong or do something that upsets her. Currently, he’s too tired to be nervous. Gert continues, “That’s ok. I know I’m rambling like a crazy person.”

Chase reaches over and takes her hand, lacing their finger, and says, “Fourth-wave feminism is using the Internet to address intersectionality in oppressive systems?”

Gert rolls on her side to face him, and she is smiling in the brilliant way she hasn’t really since the dance. Great, now’s he thinking about the dance. He told her they could do this however she wants, and he means it, but he’s tired, and she’s pretty. 

“Close enough,” says Gert, still smiling, “But also really wrong.” 

“In my defense, I only understood like half of that,” says Chase with a grin. 

Chase rolls to face her and brings their laced fingers to his lips and says, “You’re really pretty.”  
Gert rolls her eyes like she doesn’t believe him and looks away. 

“Maybe I should teach you to whistle?” asks Gert with a smirk and blush staining her cheeks. That was a come on, right? 

Chase raises his eyebrows and says, “Yeah?” He could wake up for that. So he leans in and touches her face. She leans into his touch, which is a good sign. Gert said sex was going to be hard for her, so he isn’t expecting that, but he doesn’t know what she’s expecting here and doesn’t want to make her feel like she has to do anything. Chase kisses her, then pulls back, and says, “We don’t have to do anything.”

Gert’s eyes widen and says, “Anything?”

“Not anything,” says Chase who sighs and continues, “Look, I think last time we had some miscommunication. I’m down for whatever you are, but I don’t want you to feel like we have to or anything.”

“Right,” says Gert shortly. Is she mad? Why is she mad?

“And, I’ve ruined this,” says Chase.

Gert shakes her head no and says, “I don’t feel coerced, Chase.”

“Good,” Chase says in a huff, “It is just the night at the dance, you didn’t want to do it again then you wanted to blow me or fuck me, and it was confusing because--I want you--.”

Gert is blushing, looks away, and says, “Yeah, about that…”

“You don’t have to explain. You get to decide what you want to do,” says Chase, “I just only want to do things if you want to do them. I just didn’t know what changed the other night.” Chase is playing with her fingers, at one point he has their hands palm to palm and the distal phalanges of his hand curved over Gert’s fingers. Her hands are tiny compared to his. 

Gert looks upset, bites her bottom lip in that distracting way she has, and says, “I thought you might not---I thought you might regret it. Or be mad because I didn’t want to or not think any of this was worth your time or--”

“Regret it? Being with you?” Chase says; he’s really surprised. How could Gert possibly think that? Chase says, “That’s absurd.”

Gert looks uncomfortable and says, “Right, sex. No one regrets sex.” How come she keeps reducing this to sex, wonders Chase. He likes sex, but he likes her more. If they never have sex again, well he doesn’t know how he’d take it, but he doesn’t want to have sex with her or anyone who doesn’t want to. Actually, that wouldn’t be sex that would be rape. 

“Yeah, sex is great,” Chase replies, “Sex with you is amazing. Laying here next to you is pretty awesome, too. I thought you regretted it, and that is why you pull away after.”

“No, of course not. I just thought you--Chase, we don’t belong together,” says Gert.

“We belong together,” Chase gushes, “I want to be with you, and I think you want to be with me?” That ends in a question because Chase isn’t sure she wants to be with him. 

“I do,” says Gert. Chase leans in and kisses Gert again. 

“I’m never going to be mad you don’t want to have sex, ok?” says Chase. That seems like something he shouldn’t have to say because Gert has to know that, but she seems like she doesn’t know that.

“I know. Rationally, I know. But it is hard to think about why this is happening if it isn’t a physical thing for you,” rambles Gert. 

“Did you not want to? Because--I guess, if you didn’t want to then I don’t know why: a. you said you did, b. you put your hand in my pants, and c. every time I asked you said it was ok?” asks Chase. Chase is pretty close to panic. 

“No! I wanted to, but why did you want to? Chase, you could be with anyone,” says Gert. Thank God, thinks Chase.

“What?” Chase laughs a little, but says, “The only person I want to be with is you.” Chase still has their hands pressed to his lips. Gert doesn’t say anything, but she looks shyly away. See, too much thinks Chase.

“So how does one whistle?” asks Chase.

Gert giggles, rolls her eyes, and says, “You know how to whistle, Chase. I’ve seen you do it.”

Chase smirks at her and says, “Yeah, but I’m into you educating me.” Gert blushes. Chase loves how she blushes at everything. 

“Oh are you?” asks Gert. She looks kind of smug. 

“I am, feel free to give me explicit instructions on what you want me to do to you, particularly sexually explicit instructions. I think it's hot,” says Chase. 

“I thought you were 17 and anything works for you,” says Gert in a tone that means she’s kidding. 

“You work for me,” Chase says kissing her again. Chase slides his hand from her face into her hair. He tugs it a little, and she moans into it. This is all the encouragement Chase needs as he pushes towards her, rolling her on her back, and more or less pins her down. 

“Too much?” asks Chase. He means his weight, this level of making out, and just about anything else Gert might be apprehensive about. 

Gert shakes her head no and says, “I like it--you on top of--” She trails off blushing like mad. 

“Yeah?” asks Chase raising his eyebrows and fighting back a grin. Chase makes a mental note, which he’s been doing since the dance, what she likes, what she doesn’t, what makes her physically respond to him. He has a long list. 

“Yeah,” whispers Gert.

Chase starts kissing down Gert’s neck and grabs her knee pulling it up around his waist. He runs his hand from her knee up to her side to her ribs, which is where he stops because she said she this was hard for her, and she likens it to being vulnerable. He wants her to enjoy this stuff--the physical stuff. For her part, Gert is running her hands up Chase’s back pulling his shirt up. Chase is trying to keep his weight off her even though she says she’s into it. 

Gert’s legs are cradling him, and honestly, Chase doesn’t want to stop whatever it is they are doing right now. Chase drops his hand to her skirt and is playing with the hem while touching her bare leg and pushes her skirt up. Gert hums under him and moves her hips. Chase groans a little, pulls his hand away from her and settles on his forearms pushing up off her a bit. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Gert.

“Nothing,” says Chase, “Just getting a little--” Chase gestures down to his dick. 

“Oh, OH!, Sorry!” Gert sounds like she’s about to freak out.

“Why are you sorry?” asks Chase as he brushes her hair off her face. Chase continues, “There isn’t anything wrong. We don’t have to have sex. We don’t have to do anything, or we can make out for a while or whatever you want.”

“Like learning to whistle,” says Gert. 

She’s flirting with him. Chase observes with a grin, “You’re flirting with me.”

“Well, yeah,” says Gert blushing.

“Do you remember when we were thirteen and at the Wilders for the Pride meeting?” asks Chase with a smirk, “That was the last time we were in a position like this.” Chase watches the realization set in on her face.

“Chase, no,” Gert says firmly. Gert starts pushing her hands against his hips to move him back and squirming away from him. Chase worried she was going to freak out then too about his inopportune erection. Chase starts tickling her, and Gert is gasping and laughing underneath him. Gert screams, “CHASE! Stop it!” laughing the whole time. 

Chase quasi worries the others might hear them, but they aren’t really doing anything. He relents and says, “You’re still ticklish behind your knees. That’s so weird.”

“You’re weird,” giggles Gert. 

“Well, yeah,” says Chase as he buries his face in her neck and starts to kiss her again. Chase asks into Gert’s neck, “This ok?”

Gert nods. Chase places his hand back on her waist and asks, “This ok?”

Gert nods. Chase smiles and asks, “Do you want to touch me?”

Gert nods. Chase turns his head to see her face, and she’s blushing down her neck and presumably her chest. Chase pushes himself up and kneels between Gert’s legs, pulling his shirt off, which he’s about to throw on the floor, but sees Gert’s face change. Chase asks, “Gert, everything ok?”

Gert grabs his shirt and says, “Under no circumstances are you to leave clothes on the floor.”

“Ok?” asks Chase. Seems like a weird thing to be so serious about, but whatever...

“The floors are so gross. There could be dry rot or hantavirus. Or any number of other things,” rambles Gert. That makes more sense. 

Chase kisses her. Kissing is an effective way to pull her out of her thoughts. Gert drops his shirt on the bed next to them and runs her hands over his chest and down his abs. She is watching her hands move down his abdomen when her head jerks up and asks, “This ok?”

“More than,” says Chase kissing her again. Chase grins against her lips and says, “Are we practicing affirmative consent?”

Gert giggles and nods, “Yeah, we are.”

Chase raises his left hand for a high-five balancing on his right arm, but he begins to think Gert might not be into it, but she starts laughing and slaps her palm against his. 

“We’re awesome,” says Gert. 

“I know, right?” says Chase, “This still ok?” Chase put his hand back on her upper thigh. Gert bites down on her bottom lip and nods. Chase is trying to be cognizant of what Gert might want to or not want to do and is trying not to be too aggressive, but things are getting pretty heated. Chase runs his thumb across her hip, under the side of Gert’s panties, which makes her gasp. Chase asks, “Too much?”

Gert shakes her head no. Chase isn’t going to escalate any further, at least that’s what he keeps repeating to himself. Chase slides his hand behind Gert squeezing her ass a little. Gert gasps and says, “Too much.”

Chase pulls back, and both Gert and Chase say, “I’m sorry.”

Chase rolls off of Gert, grabs her hand, and says, “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yeah, I know,” mumbles Gert. Chase brings their hands to his chest.

“Gert, really, it isn’t a big deal,” says Chase, “I’m good. You’re good, right?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t get to the whistling part,” says Gert. She’s not looking at him, and she’s blushing. He can’t tell what she’s embarrassed about and probably never will know unless she tells him. 

“I don’t care,” says Chase. 

“You don’t care?” asks Gert.

“Positive,” replies Chase. Chase grins, presses his lips to her temple, and says, “Just to be clear when we’re talking about whistling that is a euphemism for--” Chase gestures to his pants.

“Euphemism for what, Chase?” asks Gert in a teasing tone.

“Going to make me say it?” asks Chase.

“If you can’t say it then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it,” says Gert in a tone that is kind of condescending, but tinged with fondness. Chase likes it. 

Chase grins at her and pulls her into his arms, looping them around her waist. Gert squeals, “Chase!”

Chase whispers in a low tone, “When you’re ready, I want to go down on you. But only when you’re ready.” Gert’s blushing scarlet; her cheek is warm under his lips. Chase continues, “Sound like a plan?”

Gert nods and says, “Yes. Sounds like a plan, but I don’t know when.”

“That’s cool when you’re ready, let me know,” says Chase. He kisses her cheek. Chase tangles his hands in Gert’s hands again laying them on her stomach. She’s starting to get tense again. 

“I want to, too,” says Gert. 

Chase grins, “Yeah, I bet. Chicks are into it.”

“No, I want to--you know--blow you or whatever, sometime--whistle,” says Gert. 

“Really?” Chase is surprised how surprised he sounds, “Awesome. Whenever you want to.” 

“I don’t know when that will be,” says Gert, “And when you’re ready.”

“You don’t have to know, and I’m ready when you are,” says Chase. 

“You don’t have to be though just because of the way you internalize masculinity,” says Gert. 

“Cool, I don’t really know what that means, but I know I cannot be into sex. I imagine it could happen,” says Chase. Gert lets out a quick laugh. Gert is gripping his arms really tightly, and Chase asks, “You ok?”

“Yeah, just this is a lot--not us--not just us--this place--that water spot--” Gert is rambling and starting to breathe quickly point to a giant water spot. 

“Babe, babe,” Chase is trying to get Gert’s attention.

She gets bashful and says, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, babe. You don’t have to worry about us being a lot. We’re doing this however you want to, and this place, well, it will be better tomorrow,” says Chase. Tomorrow he’s fixing the hot water tank. Gert looks over her shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow, and Chase asks, “Believe me?”

Gert smiles and says, “I believe you believe that.”

Chase jerks his head and torso toward the door as it swings open but doesn’t let go of her; Chase can feel his pulse racing. Gert seems to relax, which is understandable Old Lace has entered the room. 

“Close the door,” commands Gert, and Chase is about to get up, but Old Lace closes the door with her tail. Chase still isn’t sure Old Lace likes him, but he’s also not sure what to do. He isn’t sold on sleeping in here with her, but Gert wants Old Lace here. He also doesn’t understand their connection, like how did Old Lace know to come in or is she like a dog who will just awkwardly watch people have sex? She is smarter than a dog, which makes Chase uncomfortable at the thought she’d watch them. 

Chase watches Old Lace settle in for sleep on the left side of the bed--Gert’s side of the bed. Old Lace’s head is on the mattress not far from his left-arm. Chase and Old Lace stare at each other. Gert struggles a bit to reach Old Lace and pet her head. She is trying to pull Chase’s hands away, but he just laughs. Old Lace snorts hot air across his arms.

“You have comically tiny hands,” says Chase. 

“Hey, they aren’t that small!” says Gert, “I want to pet my dinosaur.” Her struggle continues. 

“Sure, sure. But too damn bad, because she gets you all the time, and this is my time,” says Chase. 

Gert laughs; Old Lace is less amused and lets out an aggressive purr, which makes Chase pulls back with Gert in his arms so dinosaur 0, Stein 1. Gert is laying half on top of him now both facing the water spot. Chase stares up at the water spot Gert pointed out earlier and says, “I think it looks like Danny Devito.”

“What?” asks Gert.

“The water spot, definitely Danny Devito,” replies Chase. 

“That’s because you’re blind and don’t know any better,” replies Gert. 

“I’m not wrong you’re wrong,” says Chase, childishly. 

“I didn’t say what I think it looks like,” says Gert.

“Fine, what do you think it looks like?”

“An acorn,” answers Gert. 

“God, is it hard being that wrong all the time? Or, do you need your glasses?” asks Chase. 

Gert lets out a laugh she’s clearly trying to hold in and says, “I’m wearing my glasses, genius, and I’m not wrong; you’re wrong.”

“Clearly, we need another opinion,” says Chase, “Lace, DeVito or an acorn?”

“No, you don’t get to ask in that order, Lacy, the acorn or Danny Devito?” Gert says revising Chase’s question.

Old Lace doesn’t look impressed by them, nor does she give any indication of a response. It isn’t long after Old Lace settles that Chase feels Gert relax in his arms into sleep. So Chase is holding Gert in a bed, being watched by a dinosaur, in an underground mansion slowly sinking into the ground, wanted for murder by their parents, and he feels more at ease than he has in years.


	8. The Acorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert's POV

“Fourth-wave feminism is really being shaped by technology,” continues Gert. She has no idea how long she’s been talking or really what she’s been talking about. Chase is listening to her ramble, and she keeps glancing at him out of the side of her eye, so she knows he’s awake unless he’s sleeping with his eyes open. He should be asleep. 

Then Chase responds, slowly like he’s almost asleep, “Because of social media?” So, he is awake. She’s kind of freaking out, Chase is going to get up and go sleep somewhere else if they don’t fool around, which isn’t helping her go to sleep. Honestly, she doesn’t know what is the most stressful right now: being wanted for murder, slowly sinking to their deaths, potentially being naked with Chase. She’s leaning toward the latter because that is the most pressing. 

He’s going to get frustrated with her for keeping him awake and the lack of sex. Gert knows that. Guys like Chase aren’t going to be ok with just kissing sometimes. Chase is nodding along with what she’s saying and adds, “Because of social media?” But he sounds exhausted, which makes sense because she’s exhausting. Why’s he even here with her?

“That’s pretty simplistic, but, yeah,” replies Gert, “Fourth-wave of feminism is characterized by the desire for the empowerment of women and the dependence on the Internet. However, this particular wave does emphasize intersectionality and the systems of power that stratify and marginalized social groups.” Gert’s still rambling. She might never stop talking. She’s not sure she can at this point. 

They have to have been laying here for hours; they aren’t touching just laying next to one another while she rambles. Gert really wants him to hold her, but she’s worried that will send the wrong message to Chase after saying that sex wasn’t on the table. Another side glance at Chase to try to discern if Chase thinks that sleeping in this room means they are sharing this room and/or they are going to have sex. Then she feels guilty because he said it was fine, he said ‘who's thinking about sex?’ when she said it was going to be hard for her. So why doesn’t she believe him?

“Totally,” responds Chase passively. 

Naturally, she’s frustrated with herself and snarks a bit at Chase, saying, “You’re not listening to me.” She’s fidgeting with her hands because she’s nervous. How is she nervous? That is ridiculous, right? He’s seen her naked and been inside of her, but she’s nervous laying here next to him? He seemed nervous earlier when he came in--why’d he come in exactly? Gert isn’t quite sure. He ducked in and sat next to her thanking her for her help today and making plans for tomorrow’s projects. 

Then she bluntly asked, “Where are you sleeping?”

And Chase responded, “Where do you want me to sleep?”

It was like he knew she wanted to sleep with him, beside him. Gert’s face felt like it was on fire when she said, “Well, you could sleep here? If you want to, but you don’t have to.”

Chase gave her a blinding grin, kicked off his shoes, and flopped next to her on the bed. Then he said, “If you want me to go at any time just say so.” She’s been rambling since. 

Gert continues, “That’s ok. I know I’m rambling like a crazy person.”

Chase reaches over and takes her hand, lacing their finger, and says, “Fourth-wave feminism is using the Internet to address intersectionality in oppressive systems?”

Gert rolls on her side to face him, and she is smiling. He listens to her, even when she’s being confusing and not making sense. “Close enough,” says Gert, still smiling, “But also really wrong.” 

“In my defense, I only understood like half of that,” says Chase with a grin. Chase rolls to face her and brings their laced fingers to his lips and says, “You’re really pretty.”

Gert rolls her eyes, why does he say things like that? Gert can never tell if he’s being earnest or just feeding her lines. She wants him to mean it, but she knows she’s not pretty like Karo or Nico. Gert decides to change the subject and asks, “Maybe I should teach you to whistle?” 

Gert feels like her face is on fire. Did she mean that or does she just want him to stop calling her pretty? How is it she is always propositioning him--

Chase raises his eyebrows and says, “Yeah?” 

He sounds more awake now than he has all night. Chase leans in and touches her face. She leans into his touch because she can’t help it. She just responds to him, but maybe that is sending the wrong signals or worse mix signals. Chase kisses her, then pulls back, and says, “We don’t have to do anything.”

Gert feels her eyes widen, what does that mean? Chase doesn’t want to make out? Or does he want to make out only if they are going to do everything? Gert asks, “Anything?”

“Not anything,” says Chase who sighs and continues, “Look, I think last time we had some miscommunication. I’m down for whatever you are. But I don’t want you to feel like we have to or anything.”

“Right,” says Gert shortly. She’s the worst. What is he talking about? Obviously, the dance, but specifically. Did she do something he didn’t like? And why is he making it sounds like he coerced her? Gert starts to pull her hand away to bite her nails, but Chase is holding her one hand.

“And, I’ve ruined this,” says Chase.

Gert shakes her head no and says, “I don’t feel coerced, Chase.”

“Good,” Chase says in a huff, “It is just the night at the dance, you didn’t want to then you wanted to blow me or fuck me, and it was confusing because--I want you--.”

Right because she propositioned him to go again because she thought he was mad at her or regretted what happened between them. Gert is blushing, looks away, and says, “Yeah, about that…”

“You don’t have to explain. You get to decide what you want to do,” says Chase, “I just only want to do things if you want to do them. I just didn’t know what changed the other night.” Chase is playing with her fingers, at one point he has their hands palm to palm and the distal phalanges of his hand curved over Gert’s fingers. It is nice, when he’s touching her, and she likes when they hold hands. 

Gert feels her eyes tear up and bites her bottom lip saying, “I thought you might not---I thought you might regret it. Or be mad because I didn’t want to or not think any of this was worth your time or--”

“Regret it? Being with you?” Chase says sounding surprised, “That’s absurd.”

Of course, a teenage boy isn’t going to regret sex, but--but what exactly? How can she tell him that everything about the two of them doesn’t make any sense, and it is only a matter of time until he realizes that and leaves her? Gert sighs and says, “Right, sex. No one regrets sex.”

“Yeah, sex is great,” Chase replies, “Sex with you is amazing. Laying here next to you is pretty awesome, too. I thought you regretted it, and that is why you pull away after.”

“No, of course not. I just thought you--Chase, we don’t belong together,” says Gert. He’s the one out of her league. He’s smart and gorgeous. She’s just her, loud and annoying. 

“We belong together,” Chase says with conviction that is kind of intimidating. Because while she worries he doesn’t want to be with her, the idea that he’s really serious is overwhelming too. Chase continues, “I want to be with you, and I think you want to be with me?” 

Why would she not want to be with him? But of course, he’d doubt her, she’s all over the place. “I do,” says Gert. Chase leans in and kisses her again. 

“I’m never going to be mad you don’t want to have sex, ok?” says Chase. Which Gert knows, on a rational level, but in practice it is hard. She knows Chase isn’t going to make her do anything, but Gert can’t wrap her mind around what he is getting from this relationship? Is this a relationship? Thing, it is a thing. 

“I know. Rationally, I know. But it is hard to think about why this is happening if it isn’t a physical thing for you,” rambles Gert. 

“Did you not want to? Because--I guess, if you didn’t want to then I don’t know why: a. you said you did, b. you put your hand in my pants, and c. every time I asked you said it was ok?” asks Chase. He sounds somewhere between worried and frustrated when he’s speaking to her. 

“No! I wanted to, but why did you want to? Chase, you could be with anyone,” says Gert. 

“What?” Chase laughs a little, but says, “The only person I want to be with is you.” Chase still has their hands pressed to his lips. Gert doesn’t know what to say, but she looks away because again, that is a lot for him to say, and either he’s saying it because he thinks he’s supposed to or he’s saying it because he means it, and that’s a lot. 

“So how does one whistle?” asks Chase, changing the subject. Bless you, Chase Stein. He’s giving her a reprieve from their intense conversation. Of course, he’s just asked her to blow him, so--

Gert giggles, exaggeratedly rolls her eyes, and says, “You know how to whistle, Chase. I’ve seen you do it.”

Chase smirks at her and says, “Yeah, but I’m into you educating me.” 

Gert feels her face flame up again. How does he say stuff like that without blushing? Gert asks, “Oh are you?” 

“I am, feel free to give me explicit instructions on what you want me to do to you, particularly sexually explicit instructions. I think it's hot,” says Chase. Gert doesn’t know what to do with that information. 

“I thought you were 17 and anything works for you,” says Gert in a condescending tone. 

“You work for me,” Chase says kissing Gert again. Chase slides his hand from her face into her hair. He tugs it a little, and she moans into it. Chase seems to be into her hair, but he hasn’t said it, but it seems like he spends as much time with this hands in her hair as he does with his hands anywhere else. However, her moaning was all Chase needed to hear because he rolls her onto her back and pins her down. 

“Too much?” asks Chase. Yes, which part, but yes. Probably, but also no, mostly no. Gert can’t help but think she was right; Chase’s weight feels really good. 

Gert shakes her head no and says, “I like it--you on top of--” She trails off blushing like mad. 

“Yeah?” asks Chase raising his eyebrows and isn’t even trying not to smugly grin.

“Yeah,” whispers Gert. Gert can’t help but feel embarrassed. But she also can’t focus on the embarrassment because Chase starts kissing down her neck and grabs her knee pulling it up around his waist. He runs his hand from her knee up to her side to her ribs, which is where he stops.

Feeling Chase is amazing and distracting. It is hard for her to remember she is apprehensive about the physical side of this when he’s touching her. Gert runs her hands up Chase’s back tugging at his shirt. It is also very obvious Chase is trying to keep a lot of his weight off her. 

Gert doesn’t even realize when she pulled her legs up around Chase’s hips. She does realize when Chase slides his hand to her skirt and is brushing the hem against her legs, running his fingertips up her thigh while pushing the skirt up. Gert feels herself make a noise in the back of her throat and shifts her hips against his. Chase groans, grips her thigh hard and then pulls his hand away from her. He settles above her on his forearms, practically in a pushup keeping his body away from her. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Gert in a breathy voice, which sounds ridiculous to her.

“Nothing,” says Chase, “Just getting a little--” Chase gestures down to his dick. 

“Oh, OH!, Sorry!” Gert more or less shrieks. Chase flinches a bit. Great. 

“Why are you sorry?” asks Chase as he brushes her hair off her face. Chase continues, “There isn’t anything wrong. We don’t have to have sex. We don’t have to do anything, or we can make out for a while or whatever you want.”

“Like learning to whistle,” says Gert. Why does she keep bringing it up? She might not even be any good at it. 

Chase grins at her in blinding way and says, “You’re flirting with me.”

“Well, yeah,” says Gert blushing.

“Do you remember when we were thirteen and at the Wilders for the Pride meeting?” asks Chase with a smirk, “That was the last time we were in a position like this.”

“Chase, no,” Gert says firmly. Gert starts pushing her hands against his hips to move him back and squirming away from him. Chase starts tickling her, and Gert is gasping and laughing underneath him. Gert screams, “CHASE! Stop it!” laughing the whole time. 

He relents and says, “You’re still ticklish behind your knees. That’s so weird.”

“You’re weird,” giggles Gert. 

“Well, yeah,” says Chase as he buries his face in her neck and starts to kiss her again. Chase asks into Gert’s neck, “This ok?”

Gert nods. Chase places his hand back on her waist and asks, “This ok?”

Gert nods. Chase smiles and asks, “Do you want to touch me?”

Gert nods. Again, how can he ask things like that without blushing? Chase pushes himself up and kneels between Gert’s legs, pulling his shirt off, which is way sexier than is acceptable. But that feeling is stunted when it looks like he’s about to throw on the floor. Something must have changed because Chase asks, “Gert, everything ok?”

Gert snatches his shirt and says, “Under no circumstances are you to leave clothes on the floor.” Dear God, what could be living on this floor? What could be living in this bed? Gert feels her breathing speed up. 

“Ok?” asks Chase. Chase sounds confused.

“The floors are so gross. There could be dry rot or hantavirus. Or any number of other things,” Gert tries to explain, and it looks like what she is saying registers with Chase.

But then he’s kissing her again. Chase might be kissing her to get her mind to focus on something else, and it is pretty effective. Now she’s back to worrying about them and not the floor. Gert drops Chase’s shirt on the bed next to them and runs her hands over his chest and down his abs. She is watching her hands move down his abdomen, and his body isn’t something found naturally in nature. Then her head jerks up to make eye contact with him, because she didn’t ask permission, and she asks, “This ok?”

“More than,” says Chase kissing her again. Chase grins against her lips and says, “Are we practicing affirmative consent?”

Gert giggles and nods, “Yeah, we are.”

Chase raises his left hand while balancing on his right arm. Gert isn’t quite sure what he’s waiting for, but then she realizes he wants to high-five. She laughs because Chase is kind of ridiculous, but she gives him a high-five. Gert says, “We’re awesome.”

“I know, right?” says Chase, “This still ok?” Chase put his hand back on her upper thigh. Gert bites down on her bottom lip and nods. Chase is trying really hard to keep checking in with Gert. Gert gasps when Chase runs his thumb across her hip, under the side of Gert’s panties. Chase asks, “Too much?”

Gert shakes her head no because this is fine, but then Chase slides his hand behind Gert squeezing her ass a little. Gert gasps and says, “Too much.”

Chase pulls back, and both Gert and Chase say, “I’m sorry.”

Chase rolls off of Gert, grabs her hand, and says, “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yeah, I know,” mumbles Gert. Chase brings their hands to his chest.

“Gert, really, it isn’t a big deal,” says Chase, “I’m good. You’re good, right?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t get to the whistling part,” says Gert. She’s not looking at him, and she’s blushing again. 

“I don’t care,” says Chase, but that is hard to believe. 

“You don’t care?” asks Gert.

“Positive,” replies Chase. Chase grins, presses his lips to her temple, and says, “Just to be clear when we’re talking about whistling that is a euphemism for--” Chase gestures to his pants.

“Euphemism for what, Chase?” asks Gert in a teasing tone.

“Going to make me say it?” asks Chase, and finally Chase is blushing.

“If you can’t say it then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it,” says Gert in a condescending tone.

Chase grins at her and pulls her into his arms, looping them around her waist. Gert squeals, “Chase!”

Chase whispers in a low tone that Gert is really into, it is a tone he used at the dance, “When you’re ready, I want to go down on you. But only when you’re ready.” Gert’s blushing scarlet. Chase continues, “Sound like a plan?”

Yes, please thinks Gert. She nods and says, “Yes. Sounds like a plan, but I don’t know when.”

“That’s cool when you’re ready, let me know,” says Chase. He kisses her cheek. Chase tangles his hands in Gert’s hands again laying them on her stomach. He is touching her stomach makes her tense a bit. How come he’s always touching the places, she’s self-conscious about?

“I want to, too,” says Gert. And she does, really. She wants to learn how to do all this with Chase. 

Chase grins, “Yeah, I bet. Chicks are into it.”

“No, I want to--you know--blow you or whatever, sometime--whistle,” says Gert. 

“Really?” Chase sounds surprised, “Awesome. Whenever you want to.” 

“I don’t know when that will be,” says Gert, honestly. She isn’t sure when she’s going to be able to escalate the physical stuff, and then she interjects, “And when you’re ready.” Because, this isn’t all about her, and assuming Chase is always going to be ready to go is reductive and sexist. 

“You don’t have to know, and I’m ready when you are,” assures Chase. 

“You don’t have to be though just because of the way you internalize masculinity,” says Gert. 

“Cool, I don’t really know what that means, but I know I cannot be into sex. I imagine it could happen,” says Chase. Gert lets out a quick laugh. 

The tension in Gert’s body is getting worse, and now she’s gripping Chase’s arms really tightly, and he asks, “You ok?”

“Yeah, just this is a lot--not us--not just us--this place--that water spot--” Gert is rambling and starting to breathe quickly, and points to a giant water spot. 

“Babe, babe,” Chase is trying to get Gert’s attention.

She gets bashful and says, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, babe. You don’t have to worry about us being a lot. We’re doing this however you want to, and this place, well, it will be better tomorrow,” says Chase. Chase is overly optimistic. Gert might be overly pessimistic, and she looks over her shoulder at him. Chase asks, “Believe me?”

Gert smiles and says, “I believe you believe that.”

Chase jumps when Old Lace enters the room, but Gert feels more relaxed just being in her presence. 

“Close the door,” commands Gert, and Old Lace dutifully closes the door with her tail. Gert is glad Old Lace is going to sleep here, but she wonders what Chase thinks. He’s still super apprehensive with Old Lace most of the time. 

Old Lace settles on the left side of the bed, which is Gert’s side. Old Lace’s head is on the mattress not far from Gert and Chase. Old Lace is staring next to Gert’s head, and when Gert glances next to here, she realizes that Chase and Old Lace are staring at each other. 

Gert moves to pet Old Lace, but Chase is holding her back. Gert grabs Chase’s right forearm in her hands and tries to push him away. Chase is just laughing but stops when Old Lace snorts at him. Gert is still struggling to free herself and get to her dinosaur. 

“You have comically tiny hands,” says Chase. 

“Hey, they aren’t that small!” says Gert, “I want to pet my dinosaur.” Her struggle continues. 

“Sure, sure. But too damn bad, because she gets you all the time, and this is my time,” says Chase. 

Gert laughs; Old Lace is less amused and lets out an aggressive purr, which makes Chase pulls back with Gert in his arms, so she is pretty much on top of Chase instead of next to him. Chase stares up at the water spot Gert pointed out earlier and says, “I think it looks like Danny Devito.”

“What?” asks Gert because she isn’t quite sure what he’s talking about. 

“The water spot, definitely Danny Devito,” replies Chase. 

“That’s because you’re blind and don’t know any better,” replies Gert. 

“I’m not wrong you’re wrong,” says Chase, childishly, sometimes it is really hard to love him thinks Gert. 

“I didn’t say what I think it looks like,” says Gert.

“Fine, what do you think it looks like?”

“An acorn,” answers Gert. 

“God, is it hard being that wrong all the time? Or, do you need your glasses?” asks Chase. 

Gert lets out a laugh she’s clearly trying to hold in and says, “I’m wearing my glasses, genius, and I’m not wrong; you’re wrong.”

“Clearly, we need another opinion,” says Chase, “Lace, DeVito or an acorn?” Old Lace jerks her head when Chase calls her name. 

“No, you don’t get to ask in that order, Lacy, the acorn or Danny Devito?” Gert says revising Chase’s question.

Old Lace doesn’t look impressed by them, nor does she give any indication of a response. It isn’t long after Old Lace settles down that Gert starts to fall asleep. So Gert is sleeping next to a dinosaur, in her lifelong crushes arms, while they are slowly sinking into the ground, which if it doesn’t kill them they are all going to jail after being framed for murder by their parents. Sounds about right. But this part, the Chase and Old Lace part, it isn’t bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! For real. I desperately need to work on my other story. 
> 
> Comment and tell me what you think and thanks for reading.


End file.
